BlogYYY
Monday, October 27, 2008,10:34 AM
random post
actuali gt alot things wan to post.. but oh well.. randomly say la
went to Studio wu for lesson... was quite happy i got praised... by kate and micheal.. lol!... i find bryan DAMN cute!!!! omg his body language is sooo dammn sexy!!! i wan a friend like dat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heard that he has a boyfriend but duno if its true.. I WAN A GAY FRIEND LIKE DAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! so damn cute la!!!! i use to dislike gays but now i find most of them cute!! and SEXY!!
went back to ritz carlton to wrk.. though sch reopen.. need money lo... for alot uses.. hahaha
vernon bday... went to billy for dinner coz waraku full house.. saw blissy... my sister.. soo cute!! hhahaha.. end up onli bought him a drink.. hahah he vry funny... bday boy treat me leh!... coz i too broke.. -.-!! wanted to drink e drip but its 50 plus... walao.. one day i will go there try... we pub hop... from duno wad hop to clinic.. my god... e margarita is so much better la... MY FAV DRINK!!!!!!!!!! mus be drank FROZEN!!!!!!!
singapore sling is.. fruit punch lo... kns..
didnt get to see MR Garbage Bag.. i duno his name!!!!!!!!!! but it seems like he didnt went back to wrk.. coz i didnt see him... :( :( :( :( :(... my leader was a new guy... his name is erco... indonesian quite cute but nt gentleman enuf... mayb is jus some misunderstanding.. oopps...
i stupidly scolded william.. my director " si garfield " heng he nt angry.. hhahaha and i finally saw his bike.. kinda cool...
saw john like after 2 weeks and im damn high.. his my fav pple in charge!! coz of his humor.. hahahahahaha miss him alot lo!!!
was very happy that vernon send me home after wrk... quite random... but he says he happens to be there... so he ask me if i need a ride home... he took e wrong road and pass by his house instead.. so funny!! make a big turn lo... he stays near my cousin house!!!
i was kinda emo coz i walk pass 2 big rows of strawberries on my way to e toilet during operation hours... coz las dish is desert with strawberries.. i don get to eat them.. but i went to buy a 500g strawberry cake and eat 2/3 of it... hehee.. coz mum say i cannot finish it... i buy one lo!!!!!
k... kinda fat alrdy... coz always eat supper and sweet stuff.. and alot stuff..
i duno why pple say carls junior can make one very full.. i ate a super star large meal by myslef.. change e fries to beef fries.. though fries share with friends... i finish e large drink n e burger i stil nt full... hv to buy a cheesecake then i full lo... hahhaha..
recently abit luan about bgr also.. thnks to SOMEONE...... duno why i feel vry affected by him.. but i comfirm i wont like him one lo... jus that will think abt him but at e same time convincing myself.. i wont like him... COZ HE SMOKES AND HE IS SHORTER THAN ME and alot factors la...
vernon suddenly emo siah... sms me emo stuffs i read alrdy i laugh.. so damn bad.. but cant help it.. he have to get over man..
but did i get over mine??? i wonder..... but i still misses them.. :D
my Dumby and MC
no.. no longer mine.. or was never?
its been more than half a year since i saw dumby... i wonder how is he now.. but i guess it would be another half a year for us to meet up.... busy guy..
oh ya.. jus rmb that danny gave me a flower.. though its fake.. hahahaha damn happy when i receive coz he says its his first time giving it.. but when he told me e reason.. my face change.. LOL!! how cute can he be!!!!! he says its becoz he was force to buy it... at e hospital while doing his check up.. and jus nice.. he meeting me for lunch... so he gav it to me... awwww how nice.. HAHAHA!! but thnks anyway.. i love purple flowers... hope one day i will receive a real boquet of flowers... RED or PURPLE or BLUE... dont reali like pink or white flowers.. but purple goes well with white.. heehee.....
k la.. tml lesson so early.. i think i will faint in lecture room again lor... 2 hrs later than wake up... standard.. going to my lala land............
Sunday, October 19, 2008,8:20 AM
love
suddenly... i start to open my heart to this topic again... kinda not use to it la..
coz all e while when someone tells me abt me.. i will jus " ASK ME FOR WAD? "
I refuse to touch my wounds.. damn scared..
but i watched a show today which taught me.. " to overcome is to face it "
k i will face it... but i will not try it.. as in.. i will talk abt it.. but i wont let myself get into a relationship..
now i look into alot things when in a boyfriend.. i will not " try " a relationship again...
unlesss he makes me feel that.. I should be with him.. i hv to be..
my friend ask me wad i look for hmm.. alot materialistic things la..
- tall
- good looking
- rich
- smart
- healthy
- loyal
- caring
- dote on me
- being real
of coz the list goes on... but this type of guys.. HARD TO FIND.. got la.. drama lo
i missed my exs..
i reali do la..
i still love e first bf.. coz.. its jus lidat lo.. but then i ve been crashed by him many times ever since we broke up...
he showed me how much he doesnt wan me anymore... how much he hopes that i would hate him.. how much we could jus be normal friends.. sometimes he even give me e feeling... lets be strangers..
becoz of all these.. i cant bring myself to like him anymore..
the second one bastard me la.. hahahaha but i still miss him.. he lied to me many times i guess.. but i still care for him... he seems vry lost.. or lonely..
if he sees this he will " dont think so highly of urself as if u know alot "
hahaha but thats how i feel la.. i feel like lending him a shoulder.. let jus lean against n say nth.. but.. i know.. he doesnt reali wan to see me also..
I been hurt badly.. but thn... Im still young.. i still many chances.. i jus wan to be alone for e time being... busy with many things... evryday do wad i like.. and do not have to make time or arrangement becoz of the other one...
came across this song.. its dam nice.. reali is DON TELL ME ABOUT LOVE!!! this sentence reali says wad im feelin man... thats why recently those guys who tell me they like me or wan to woo me... my first reaction " CRAP LA! " k la.. its damn rude.. but i reali feel vry irritated n annoyed.. when pple can jus say like easily.. wad do they look for in a relationship.. i reali wonder..
放飞心情
太多爱不明不白
我还在分手的那一天原地徘徊
太多事不明不白
不明白怎么笑着走出来
不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去再也回不来
不要对我再说爱
我还在秋千上摇摆
太多人不明不白
我不想重新开始后
还想着原来
太多人不必等待
我不能给你确定的未来
不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去回不来
不要对我再说爱
我还在秋千上来回摇摆
不要对我再说爱
我坦白一直忘不了原来
不要对我再说爱
我害怕我们再受到伤害
不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去回不来
不要对我再说爱
就让我一个人静静摇摆
一段爱从不明白到明白
我的眼泪才慢慢流出来
~~end~~
i wan to keep all those memories i have.. put it in my lifestory.. making it more fufiling and abundance of emotions... even more meaningful..
,8:04 AM
the day i say it out
it was mom's bday celebration..
guess i had been tired...
been very willful AGAIN!!!!!!!!! bad habit...
DAD wanted to go to this restaurant i find it ulu... then i rejected.. he was kinda angry... and kip askin them to go jumbo... but then end up coz mom doesnt want crab... DUNO WHY! we jus go to the food court and order alot things...
there was a motorbike who drove pass damn fast.. i jus shouted " fuck that motor la " coz of the exhaust it give out.. walao.. damn smelly lo..
my father was pissed.. but i didnt know...
end up at e car park.. he suddenly say wad.. jus becoz i let u have ur way doesnt mean u can live like a youngster who is lookin for trouble... it hurts alot!!!
thn duno why... link till clubbing.. i let u club is to let u see e world.. nt become like dat... since when he bothers about how fluent my vulgarities can be... learn from him one lo... then he add on wad "its hard to be independent ok " HURTS
end up i cannot take it.. and burst... ran to e beach... my father followed and screamed at me... i stopped and he lectured me...
I cried out all my sorrows and troubles i had ... telling him how hard i tried to live my life and be independent so that he doesnt need to wrry abt me n jus concentrate to settle his probs..
but him sayin its hard for me to be independent is like crashin me..
I wrked like shit.. earn like shit.. FOR WAD? give myself a better life which i think my parents could nt afford.. i wan to buy more clothes.. more shoes.. more thigns that can make me prettier.. attend more dance classes.. buy thigns for my brother my mother and father... all these is money!.. i cant possibly ask money for this type of uses.. so i hav to earn it myself wad...
transport... handphone.. food.. 10 dollars per day.. enuf meh??
he agreed to pay for my monthly consession which HELP ALOT!! 50 dollars lo!!..
i think i will save up la.. don buy too much unesscessary things le lo...
but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i still need to buy
- new shoe bag.. coz i lost mine
- new wrking pumps...... lost
- make ezlink.. lost
- wireless connector... spoil
- monitor... too old
these will cost me smth... hahhahaha pengz
i want to buy
-black short
-bangles
-colourful cap
-new shoe for dance
hmm... have to wait..
oh well.. i duno wad to say le la.. mind quite blank..
Sunday, October 12, 2008,1:01 PM
zzzzzz
fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!
thats why i hate to share my experience in wadeva i do outside with my family members!!!!
its been a long time since i quarel with gorgor...
FUCK LA!!!!!!! i hate it...
i know u feelin down la.. but why vent on me siah...
i know i retarded... slow... stupid... but so wad!! im like dat wad....... BRAIN MALFUNCTIONING!!!!!!!!!!!
U LEH! EVRYDAY STAY AT HOME DON WANT TO START UR LIFE SERIOUSLY! HOW OLD ALRDY!
FUCK IT LA... CHAO CHEE BYE KANINA...
I HATE TO STAY AWAKE AT HOME!! ITS ONLI A PLACE FOR ME TO SLP AND PLAY COMP AND SHUT MY MOUTH!
SCH FASTER STRT LA... THN NO NEED TO SEE ANY OF U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM ALSO TIRED OK!!!
EVRYTHING ALSO I OWNSELF SETTLE.. ONLI SOMETIMES WILL TALK TO U ALL... ASK FOR ADVICES... OR DO ALRDY THN GT CHANCE DISCUSS...
YA IM 18 ALRDY...
HAVE TO BE EVEN MORE INDEPENDENT...
DON WORRY...
I WONT TALK THAT MUCH ABOUT HOW I HAVE BEEN DOING... WAD AM I DOING...
I CAN JUS FUCK OFF..
,10:06 AM
hmmm
SATURDAY was so called my last day of work...
coz sch is going to strt in a week time and i had plenty of things to do..
Been busy.. and time jus PHEWWWWWWWWWWW... fly past... damn fast... eh rhyme.. hahaha..
i think i enjoyed myself vry much... i think i stay at home for less than 10 days onli.. this whole 2 months... either wrk.. play.. or dance... EAT!.. hahaha
I think i gain weight too lo... actuali lost.. but after wrking at M FLOOR.. i think i eat alot... thnks to........... hahahaha... he had been taking very good care of me.. Im actuali very touched.. without him.. i think i need to struggle alot!.. but i guesss.. i have to be independent lo.. cannot rely on anybody..
Quite grateful it las for one week onli.. in bth side la.. kinda long.. yet kinda short... he taught me alot.. as well as anan la.. also hlp me alot.. if its one month i wrk with him evryday.. i think i will rely on his pressence lo... heng ar.. one week onli.. hehe...
walao.. sentosa owe me pay.. i think im going to quit there.. but then.. its suepr convinient leh.. after sch.. jus wrk... thn at night can go st james.. LOL!!!! hahahaha..
oh man... FRI NIGHT... e music sux!!! trans.. I DON LIKE TRANS.. well apparently nt many like.. coz a few went up to poleum.. i went up ALONE.. thne i pull jasmine n cheryl up.. poor shawn.. was chase down by the bouncer..
omg.. jasmine grind me till i damn shy and cover my face lo.. i can feel her whole body attach to mine!!! how come guys like to grind girls!!!!!!!!! and i was grinded by one... at first jus being playful n dance along.. be friendly... but end up don feel right coz he is moving closer and like dance damn long and wont automatic walk away.. he buay sian i also sian... stupidly... i put my hands tgt as though i was prayin to ask for help rfm reuben.. but he like duno how to save me... i was saved by shawn!!! who bang that guy away... hahahaha!! but also thnk you reuben and lester for their effort...
damn scary k... chase him away liao still come back find me!.. i hav to hide in the middle of my friends..
got to know some new friends who i think i can click with... :D very happy.. hehe.. thnks for the massages guys!! shiok arh... nex time i wil warm up first b4 i explode.. hahahahaha thne wont tio injured..
my shoe OMG!! e flat CMI.. think i need smth harder to dance with...
I LOST MY PUMPS!!!!!!! second time!!! walao... jus bought leh... gonna buy again to wrk... so dumb! ya dumb is me lo! duno wheres my brain.. kip forgeting stuff!!!
clubbing after 16hrs of wrk.. and 17hrs of wrk frm previous day... wasnt a good experience... cant get high... tired lo... slept at bar while sitting and dance floor while standing...
I LIKE SHAWN's JACKET!! hahahaha k random.. walao.. i lost my fav tube la... :'(
EVEN CLOTHING ALSO CAN LOSE!!! PRO!!!!!!! i think nx time i shall try losing my bra.. LOL!!! choi choi choi!! if lost bra.. need to paste plaster liao.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! kidding...
I rot at home today... kinda regret nt wrking... waste time n no income.. walao... but ok la... rest lo......................
MONDAY
- mom's blow cake session... and gotta go airport fetch andy n mel png coz they came back frm honeymoon
TUESDAY
- h07 challet and BBQ!! omg EAT AGAIN!!
WEDNESDAY
- www and clubbing at night
THURSDAY
- mom's day out celebration
FRIDAY
- friend's bday party
SAT
- dance lesson, shopping at bugis street, night clubbing
SUNDAY
- sentosa
MONDAY
- SCH REOPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man... see i soooooo busy right... heng im single ar... add one more boyfriend i can jus feed on energy booster..
i think i hv been kidna crazy recently.. don ask me why... it jus happen la... but im nt loose!! im jus EXPRESSIVE!!!!!! nvm... some pple jus don understand... im fine..
vry hungry la... but nth to eat..