BlogYYY
Sunday, May 4, 2008,8:54 AM
I failed terribly today...

msg him in e afternoon... coz i finally have e i let go alrdy e feeling.... so msg him to disturb him as a friend...
he didnt reply... whole day...
n i wonder...
at night... i jus msged his brother... and knew that he fall sick...
suddenly I felt so messed up... coz i had a bad feeling... coz evrytime he was sick... he will still have energy for many thigns... how come this time he fall asleep so early..
He even sees a doc!... thinks he is reali tired from training and needed rest...
i wanted to go see him sooo much.... but his brother suggest that i don appear... coz he doesnt wans to get involve...
my heart crash... terribly...
i felt as though i have no legs while walking home from tm...
it seemed that i shrank... n floatin one air... or rather i felt too heavy that i couldnt feel my legs...
soo tired to cry.... completely crashed...
" why !!! why it became like this.. i couldnt even visit u when u are sick... i couldnt even msg u to ask if u are well... i couldnt call u to hear ur voice to assure me u are nt feeling terrible... i couldnt stop myself from having heartache... i couldnt stop e tears to flow while listening to a chi song " yang chong " walao....i couldnt i couldnt i couldnt SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yah some of u may think.. even i also thought... jus sick onli wad... why reaction so big.... I ALSO DUNO...
think its bcoz i couldnt be concern abt him.. ssort of like... im even less than a friend... so much pain la... but i will still smile my way thru after i finish crying...
its been a long time since i cry till i make noises... hahahaha
it feels so much better la.. and thnks stef n beau to respond online.. so i don feel so alone
如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情
this song reali made me cry..
actuali i have no reasson to cry... since ... Im out of ur life.. and u are out of mine... its past tense...