Smile Seek Cherish

FML

2010-10-11T04:16:00.000-07:00

Its been so long since i blog because most of the time I blog only when Im super unhappy and I have no where to go.....

Unhappy has beomce part of me lately... from work... relationship and family...

I start to wonder did I made a wrong decision, or it is because of the chi bai company Im in?

Relationship has no been going too well.. we are still lovely dovey... but I felt that it has changed.. and then I thought... is it me who has changed?

I really cant tolerate spending my off days rotting at home for another few decades if I am to be together with him...

I cant go out with the others.. and since u don wan to go out with me...

loneliness has begun to develop in me...

Shop alone... eat alone... watch tv alone.........

Because you don wan to go out................

The struggle between life and love....

FML....

2009-07-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

my boyfriend today whole day weird weird ever since i went blood donation
n i complain to him about our behviours n stuff..
thn pas few days also got say la.

n got those like wan to stop seein for awhile kind

thn he jus send me a sms

"i felt that i hv did u wrong, and i hope u could forgive me if my insenibility caused u to be unhappy...

i know that im not the type of guy ure looking for, i don mind u criticise me, make fun of me or wadeva.. i onli hope to do my best for you..
i hop eu can take good care of urself because i cant always be by ur side everyday"

I know he love me... but im afraid.. its honeymoon..

he will like.. scacrifies for me..
he save.. to spend on good food for me
coz he know i like to eat..
he know i need a phone.. he buy for me..
he know i will anytime hungry.. so he bought snacks n put in my fridge without me knowing
i onli knwo when i ask my family who bought it
he don mind travellin from amk to my hse.. jus to accompany me thru the night.. n go to wrk e nx mrning..
when i had nightmares at night.. he will smile n hug me.. n ask me the nex day if im stil hving nightmares..
i criticise him.. vry smelly.. he buy deodarant..
i say his complexion vry cui.. he put salt on his face... lemon juice.. jus to get rid of the acne
i complain he always wear black..
he went shoppin with me.. n bought clothes which i say nice.. but he dont like.. n i didnt even know he took it.. until i saw it at the counter..
he allows me to trim his eyebrow.. althoug the blade is painful on his skin .. coz his hair vry thick..

26

2009-06-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

........ a sincere care and concern from a person who accpeted u for who u are... taking you for what you hav given...loving you s he sees ur soul instead of what you hv protrayed.. worth much more than any amount of money could buy.. or any beauty that could satisfy.. isint it.. " 26

WHY

2009-06-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

i dono what happen to me... am i really like dis... is this what ive changed into... or am i running away.. living in denial..

why have i become someone i dono..

where is my courage for facing the reality...

or am i being too materialistic because of reality...

where is my outwardness.. decided to keep quiet for peacefulness??

why am i being such a useless indecisive being..

why am i procrastinating...

why am i wasting time slping...

why have i pick up a habit i hve kicked...

why...

where is is my self control... for evrything..

where is my stand??

why have i gone back to square one..

2009-05-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

there are few who reali undrstands me...

what are my laughters n smile for..

why am i being so mischievous...

why do i heck care so much...

why am i portrayed as strong..

2009-05-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

HOW HOW HOW!!!!!! Ritz Carlton called!!!!
- Lobby Lounge
- All day dining restaurant
- Room Service
- Executive Club Lounge
- Fitness Centre

these are the job post...

i wan to call william!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i scaredddddddddd

SIAN need to buy new matching suit.. coz mine worn out... PAIN leh.. so ex.. should i tailor made??? but no brand :(...

haiz....

I CANT BEAR MY TO PART WITH MY BROWN HAIR!!!!!!!!

FULLLLLLL

2009-05-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

Didnt go school AGAIN!!!!!! today... but went to do project... brain storm till i mental block.. when sabrina asked me to type those we have brainstorm into report format.. my pupil dilated n i stare at her in surprise.. " U TRUST MY ENGLISH!!!?".. han xiang burst out into laughters after i said that... coz previously they were laughing at me "expertise".. :P..

went to TCC.. tot can settle my las day stuff.. end up ivan nt wrking.. and schedule nt out too... went slack.. and walk around.. and ask meng out of kitchen to talk... nt bad ar.. he can slack.. hahahahahaha...

adeline.. knock off 10 mins late.. haiz.. we always do free labour..

saw her n candy at a corner.. n i tio shock and super worried.. i walk there.. they also don wan to tell me what happen..

ans she smoke 2 cigerette!!!! a total of 3 today!!! :(...

abit heart broken leh.. see my friends sad then i duno what happen.. but end up i know la.. hahahaha..

went to SMU tcc.. thnks daniel!!!!

GUESS WHAT DID I DRINK?!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!! BERRY OREO!!!!!!!! hahahahahaahhaha!!! jus cany deny its so far.. my most fav drink in TCC... e taste is just so gang gang hao.. and full of bliss.. when i slurp e cream and e drink... hahahahaha

In a short while.. its gone..

after slackin a while there.. and close the tcc... we went to have steamboat buffet!!! at tian tian... damnn full.. but i don think i eat alot.. althuogh adeline keep torturing me by feeing me.. stuffing my bowl full of food.. hahhahha

i ate non stop as usual.. until i cant stuff anymore..

2 rounds of these.. and we are down... hahahahaa potato wedges and berry oreo fault la.. hahahahaha...

anyway its damn funny.. .coz we tried to tke as muc as we could so that we do not have to walk many times.. gei kiang stack n giap... adeline drop my drink!!!!!! LOL.. evrybody stares n laugh... when we reach our table.. prawns drop from her plates.. and e cuttlefishes and stuff fall on e table.. too full ardy.. hahahaha

she laugh at me cos i used my hands n grab evrything n throw into e soup jus like the machines u saw in arcade.. hahahahaha...

enjoy my night today... it made me forget some of the unhapiness and let me reali think of things.. friendship is stil impt.. therefore i will stil hold on to it..

my angers.. are gone.. :D

:D

2009-05-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

Tml shall be a different day.. as i got my answer already..

shall no longer wait.. shall no longer dream...

it ended for me.. i guess.. :D

A random song

2009-05-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

wrote a random song in less than one hour while i think of u.. LOL...

e scene i had in my mind is kinda funny...

its reali how i report to work.. LOL.. look at other or look on e floor.. dont look into bar..

今天是星期五我又要去上班了
早一点去准备其实是想多看你一点
我把装化好把头发弄好
只是想要你看到我会微笑

我脸红心跳心在奔跑
站到你面前又不敢看着你笑
我脸红心跳比如何是好
站到一边偷看你傻傻地笑
我脸红心跳少了翅膀在飘
幸福的味道环绕在你做的饮料

总是害怕你看着我的那个表情
仿佛周围时间都暂停
不喜欢看到你黑着脸的表情
我会安静的想小猫眯

out of love

2009-05-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

sian.. honeymoon.. onli 2 days.. and there its gone again.. all thanks to my mouth..

I can jus shoot pple in the heart quite accurately to make them face what they wan and to reflect..

now.. we are just FRIENDS.. abit sad la.. but then we are nv tgt b4..

should i wait or should i forget..

its a chim qns for myself..

but i can sense ur feelings are fading..

so wads the pt of hanginin...

yet still.. i wan to try.. one las time..

pitiful vaccum

2009-05-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

HAIZZZZZZZZ... MELISSA!!!!!!

bad habits come back again... LAZY TO WAKE UP.. SKIP LECTURES!!!!!.. As usual... i got nagged by mommy and daddy...

mommy knows i have been talkin on the phone daily until vry late at night.. and she teased me " ask ur boyfriend to rush u to slp and wake u up for lesson!!! if he cant make u study.. then he failed to b ur boyfriend.. "

-.-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

since when i got a boyfriend.. walao..

Im jus talking to " oreo " LOL!!

well.. working today is rather fun... Ivan havn approve my resign but then I try to work 2 days per week.. if i reaaaaaaaalii cant cope.. i will leave..

love ZIE max.. she is damn cute although she always bully me..

anyway.. i don reali like e it when sue disturb roy about.. who to choose.. jus don like it..

and worse.. all he do is smile.. ARGH.. WHAT AM I ?!.............

mayb he jus thinks that it doesnt matter.. or he doesnt need others to know his feelings...

duno la.. i kick e vaccum today.. coz its being irritating.. wire so damn short!!!!!

i know im jus being jealous..

sometimes i even feel that i should jus forget about this.. since im going to leave sooner than any one of them...

MIX UP FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREAK LA.......

I DUNO I DUNO I DUNO I DUNO............................................

Am i jus being too playful???

or wad?????????????????????

argh... why do i feel so uneasy...

afraid of losing smth???

or afraid of losing???

What i want.. and what i feel for... how to balance?

DUNO LA freak..

today

2009-05-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

Aint feeling that well... and i think i got gastric flu... stomach ache for a few days alrdy.. but stil went to wrk.. i'm loving tcc so muc that Im so sad about my las day.. but then.. i have to do wad i have to do.. so as nt to be that irresponsible towards my project mates..

i think alot.. about me n you... thinking.. if u are not the one should i waste time n effort for it.. but how do i know if u are the one or not..

and i heard and can sense somebody might hv feelings for u.. thus my heart sank.. way back home isnt that good..

i weak when it comes to hurting a friend... therefore i tot of giving up.. but thn..

time n time again.. ur replies onli send me disappointment.. i tolerate.. n try to wait..

this time tears have come.. but i stil hope to stay positive.. n see wad can be done..

its true that im haunted by the past.. my past... and im enlighten by a friend.. wad matters is now.. n nt the past.. nt much even e future..

Im tryin.. so even if i fall.. at least.. ive tried b4.. :D..

-berry-

DAMN LONG LIAO

2009-05-02T05:20:00.000-07:00

wa piang its been a super long time since updated my blog..

i dyed my hair.. and duno is superstitious or wad.. mom had been sayin that i dye hair will sway..

then reali.. i kip falling sick.. and today.. randomly got fever again.. not swine flu la pls.. and i bite too hard eating " YU PIAN MEE FEN ".. i crack my tooth.. 3rd from e back.. while playin with it with my tongue.. half of it fall off.. i got to see how rotten it is la.. damn er xin.. i brush evryday leh.. but duno why it rot til lidat.. other teeth doesnt seem healthy too.. Going to dental real soon.. he might even pull out e other half.. and i reali bo gey liao lo.. :(.. 19 onli..

i think i need a few thousands for my teeth.. though i no need to put braces.. but i need to FIX them.. haiz..

well.. always wanted to post about TCC..

first 2 weeks was hell for me over there.. as i felt unwelcome.. and alone.. but then slowly.. pple strt to talk to me.. and i began to be more talkative as well.. and now.. i love that place..

:D..

alot of teasing is going on... as if like some match making agency... match til like spider web..

i have wonderful colleagues and i reali strt to develop feelings for them.. its good la..

my fav drink from noughat MS.. become BERRY OREO!!.. i always tot its disgusting until candy let me try..

Its a mistake to add choco icecream to berry oreo.. i think i will nv add ice cream to it animore.. hahahaha!!.. but then its stil taste good.. because............ :)

i jus like to see him do bar :D..

k.. i don wan to think about relationship stuff.. coz will end up no where too.. friendsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....

but why does his smiles and irritating remarks kip ringing in my mind.. ARGH..

friends friends.. friends onli.. mus tell myself this evryday :D..

sch reopen and i had to go bac to dancing.. and thn projects are piling.. cant wrk that often.. so yea.. i think will slowly forget abt it.. :(.. but well.. at least i was damn happy before..

there is this guy.. omg.. slp liek log.. call him duno how many times also cant wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha but he;s cute la..

another one.. mian bao chao ren.. always make me laugh.. but at e same time giving me chills from his MOOD swing..

anyway i damn happy now coz things are getting better btwn me n hairi..

carolyn candy and ade.. :D.. love them la.. its always happy to see them wrking.. with me..

my management are loveable as well.. sean n zie.. hahaha damn fun pple.. :D.. i think they are the most playful staff in tcc..

anyway i love it there.. and i hope i will nt hate it.. i duno wad i talkin abt.. bye..

Trust you

2009-03-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

A wonderful song.. A wonderful singer..

Do you know that Im still waiting? :)

Im silently waiting.. you might not know.. or will nv know..

But I'm happy like that..

Because if its mean to be.. You'll be back..

If its not.. Someone else will turn up

hana ha kaze ni yureodoru youni
ame ha daichi wo uroosu youni
kono sekai ha yorisoiai ikiteru noni
naze hito ha kizutsukeau no
naze wakare ha otozureru no

Flowers dance in the wind,
rain moistens the Earth…
If everyone in this world want to live together,
why do they hurt each other?
Why do they separate?

kimi ga tooku ni ittemo mada
itsumo kono kokoro mannaka
ano yasahii egao de umetsukusareta mama
dakishimeta kimi no KAKERA ni
itami kanjitemo mada tsunagaru kara
shiniteru yo mata aeru to
I’m waiting for your love

No matter how far you go, you’ll still
be in my heart.
With that tender smile, I get buried and
held in a fragment of you…
Even if you feel pain…we’re tied together,
I believe we’ll meet one again.
I’m waiting for your love.

I love you, I trust you
kimi no kodoku wo wakete hoshii
I love you, I trust you
hikari demo yami demo futari dakara shinjiaeru no
hanasanaide

I love you, I trust you
I hope you’ll share your loneliness with me.
I love you, I trust you
be it in light or darkness, because we trust each other,
so don’t let go.

sekai no hate wo dare ga mita no
tabi no owari wo dare ga tsugeru no
ima ha kotae ga mienakute nagai yoru demo
shinjita michi wo susunde hoshii
sono saki ni hikari ga matsu kara

Who has seen the world’s end?
Who informed us of the Journey’s End?
I can’t see the answer now, but even in long nights,
I hope you’ll continue on the path you believe in
because a light is waiting for you.

kimi ga oshietekureta uta ha
ima mo kono kokoro no mannaka
ano yasashii koe to tomoni hiibiteiru
afureru kimochi no shizuku ga
atatakaku hoho tsutau
tsuyoku naru ne shinjiteru yo tsunagatteru to
I’m always by your side

The song you’ve taught me
still lies within my heart.
Together with you, that tender voice resounds in my heart.
The fragment of my overflowing emotions
streak down my warm cheeks.
I’ve become strong right? I believe, we’re tied together.
I’m always by your side.

I love you, I trust you
kimi no tame ni nagasu namida ga
I love you, I trust you
ai wo oshietekureta donna ni kimi ga michi ni mayottemo
soba ni iru yo

I love you, I trust you
for you, I shed these tears.
I love you, I trust you
you taught me what love is. Even if you get lost on your way,
I’ll be with you.

I love you, I trust you
kimi no kodoku wo wakete hoshii
I love you, I trust you
hikari demo yami demo
I love you, I trust you
kanashimi demo yorokobi demo
I love you, I trust you
kimi no subete wo mamoritai

I love you, I trust you
I hope you’ll share your loneliness with me.
I love you, I trust you
be it in light or darkness.
I love you, I trust you
be it sadness or happiness.
I love you, I trust you
I want to protect your everything.

donna ni kimi ga machi ni mayottemo
soba ni iru yo futari dakara shinjiaeru no
hanasanaide

Even if you get lost on your way,
I’ll be with you because we trust each other…
Don’t let go.

life is great

2009-03-13T05:09:00.001-07:00

This is what I've been searchin for..

to live life happy..

be better and not bitter...

To accomplish and end it strong

End of OC

2009-03-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Im so thankful to simon for asking me to join OC!!!!!!!!

SO freaking fun!! I wan more man.. I miss alot of things over there.. Esp the people I work with.. Im starting to love RC more and MORE..

Love my managers and WILLIAM!! hahahaha garfield..

My captains are great too.. Max.. DAMN cute la.. evrytime see him i will laugh.. he got the gong and blur face.. hahahaha and act like kids at times.. Simon.. BTH him.. always eat.. still say wan to jian fei.. wtf.. I think he looks damn cute with april.. both of them.. LOL lo.. i kip calling her apple.. thnks to kuswadi.. -.-!!.. he is also another lame lame lame lame lame guy.. HE STIL HAVEN TELL ME THE ANS TO HIS RIDDLES!!

At first i was very worried i might get bullied.. but no... I HAD LOTS OF FUN!!..

hahahaha Oh man.. e onli regret.. i didnt ask that cute hsbc crew for his number or msn.. my type of friend.. super friendly and bubbly.. :D damn pai seh.. tammy almos burst me up when she told her friend im interested in him when he is onli 5 steps away.. should hv said it when he is onli a step away.. so he can hear.. HAHAHAHA!!

I miss tammy~~~~~~~~~ Im nt les pls... she said im nt romantic!!! and nt a girly girl..T.T..but she is damn fun.. at first i don reali like her as muc as i do now becoz she dont talk to me.. hahaha onli talk to april.. but after we are posted on the same level.. we talk quite alot.. she is damn slim.. and i saw her " flew " a few times when she bang into guest or the other way round.. Damn funny.. anyway.. im stil vry guilty i bang jamie.. by accident! but i didnt know e impact was that big she slam against the locker.. T.T.. heng andrew nt there..

My taxi kaki.. Ervina.. hahaha had a fairytale like mentality.. its kinda cute.. but at times its just -.- < liddat lo.. she wrk till nosebleed.. so poor thing.. and yao qing joke about her menses came from the nose instead.. she and her lan hua hua.. so shocking.. i cannot get over the way she walk and how khor said her.. its soo funny pls.. coffee aunty hehe..

OMG i saw paula creamer la.. she is THAT close to me.. SO pretty!! and i was right.. that jiyai shin won.. I should hv bet.. but i still supported paula creamer.. coz she damn pretty and she is indeed top golfer.. jiyao shin is rising.. as usual.. from wad i saw on tv.. and she will continue to be much better..

Vry happy that i think i got closer to the pple there... YEAY!! I TALK TO SAMANTHA.. hahaha some pple say she nt as friendly la.. but i think she is damn cute.. and verrry smart.. the vocab she uses always amuse me.. hahahahaah!! I didnt know that qiu han and lan ying are also the lame type until oc.. thos 2 pretty "sisters"

The guys.. omg.. are damn dirty minded... at the pantry they dirty talk till i bth.. but its damn funny.. a joke out of fruit basket.. hahahhaha.. whose banana or grapes is it?? -.-!! rotten ones.. or with pimples.. -.-!!.. Gao fei is damnnnn dirty.. the milk joke.. i think he doesnt know the term "shy".. a very naughty one..

yao qing is super different from wad i tot he would be.. hahahaha but he is still a nice boy.. help me alot during operations :D.. his hokkien full of vulgarities.. hahahaha!!!.. but a vry cute little boy.. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HE IS OLDER THAN ME.. NO WAY..

TIMOTHY!!!!!!! hahaha apple juice~~~ the onli time i saw some expression on his face.. hahahaha is during his spillage.. LOL!! on me -.- .. but nt reali his spillage coz im the one holding the drinks.. YOUNGER than me kinda unexpected.. Im old.. MORE unexpected is that bosheng is younger than me la.. WTF!! he don look like.. and he soo damn cool.. don talk .. gd friends with marcus.. a guy who speak less than 3 sentences a day.. who onli nod or shake his head.. or "hm".. hahahaha!! the only time he say more than 10 sentences is when i ask him about his exam.. he look like gu tian le.. jus a smaller version..

Simon is getting more swollen.. HAHA look like pig.. HAHA!! but a fun and cute one.. damn funny la he.. i see him also will laugh.. and brighten up abit.. DAMN freaking sian on the first day.. I was suppose to be one the 3rd level.. with him and ZHENGYI~ my eye candy.. but then william change me to the second level.. but oh well.. overall im veryy happy on the 2nd level.. with tammy and guys.. zhenyi is so skinny! i wish i could pass some to him man.. hahaha

its shocking that april is older than me.. she look blur.. but don be deceived.. shes that master of food kopping.. HAHAA!!

I miss xinyan and chunhan too.. hahaha chunhan looks like a bimbo but her results is DAMN GOOD!!! nt 4 As okayz.. boon hock.. HAHA!! i had a great time disturbing Anand and xinyan at the bar.. hahahaa sorry la.. its jus a "fun" time.. hahaha wont do that much during wrk.. *no promise* hahaha!.. her naval piercing is nice.. i dont think i will ge tthe chance to pierce with all my fats uniting as one.. HAHA!!

i didnt know that aldrin stays so jus a traffic light away.. went home with him and to my surprise.. he talk alot!.. hahaha his kinky shirt jus expose how naughty he is.. NOT a good boy pls.. HAHA!!.. and he enlighten me that if a friend ever get drunk.. there is stil such thing as IC.. to know where ur friend actuali stays.. -.-!!.. we shared some pointers on relationship.. n i strt to find myself weird coz i dont like anybody.. hahaha its hard for me to fall in love.. as in real love.. to hv a crush its vry simple.. but love.. its a troublesome thing.. i enjoy my companionship with my family and friends now and dont think i need an intruder into my life at this period of time..

k im vry tired.. to blog.. 4 days into one entries.. omg..........

I will never forget the "illegal immigrant" feeling in the truck.. hahaha.. how does a gold course look like.. how we slack sleep and play in the pantry.. and how nice some of the riches are..

well.. i reali hope to get another OC with the same group of pple again..

love is jus a gimick

2009-02-28T04:52:00.000-08:00

I lost faith in love.. and feelings.. is all that i see and feel an illusion i have that will generally disappear?

Love.. wad is love??

lonely obsess vain emotional?

I strt to dread watching romance.. coz its so "fake" to me..

i rather watch fantasy or watch anime.. they seem more fun..

Love is a gimick... jus like marketing..

its works under the four words " xing gan qing yuan", willingly to let the marketing gimick cheat or nicely.. guide u along..

they know how to catch ur attention.. influence u... and make u fall for it..

however.. the content is not entirely true..

The ugliness of human nature ive seen n experience quite something..

such a disappointment..

though there are still those who worth out applause but yet.. how many can u count?

greed... uncertainty.. victory... cause human to lose their innocence..

How do u tell someone still loves u..

how do u know if its nt a joke??

how do u know.. its jus a habit.. used to it.. that they no longer know how to tell.. but think they are..

Love is everywhere... sounds so familiar

True love hard to find.. kinda ironic..

To love someone... there are so many qns...

what u wan... can live with?.. gt courage?.. have faith? but again.. its irony.. if u have faith.. there wont be so many qns...

so then again...

wads love?

Birthday

2009-02-21T06:08:00.000-08:00

YEAY!! its my birthday and im damn happy...

alot of unexpected people greeted me... like reali random pple... and alot sentosians as well...

WALAO sherlyn n bliss... actuali forgot until i hint them... BO XIM!!!

damnn happy... but waiting for his greeting... wonder if he would continue ignoring me..

but YES!!!!!!!!!!! i got it in the mrning!! hahaha he sms me.. hehe

but i was too playful to say he would get a kiss for rmbring.. n he didnt reply.. guess it scares him away.. LOL!!

Studied at Andy house... but then the weather super hot ... n im quite slack.. hahahaha

but thanks people!! for the cakes!!! though its nan chi.. but its still very delicious becoz of its from you guys...

its damn funny when bliss scream e moment i walk into the kitchen.. LOL!!

satay was damn good...

and yea had strawberry cake at home! my birthday cake :D

I attack my bro with the cream but end up its all on me... HAHAH!!

anyway u can tell im vry tired.. so i shall stop here

For my dearest friends :D

2009-02-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

You walk me through the rain
Your warm could ease my pain
When my spirit is down, I begin to fall apart
I knelt down and cry so hard,
its getting harder to breathe
I couldn't see clearly, this storm is defeating me

But I see a shadow and when I look up...
With your hands, pull me up, and we run...
Side by side, you never fails to hold me tight
Together we move on, searching for the light..
Side by side

**Maybe there's someday when we need to part
Maybe there's someday I will break down even harder
We don't know what's ahead of us
There might be too much to handle or too much to fear

But/And I will never be afraid
Cause when I look back
I know I could still see us smiling
And I will never be afraid, no never no more
Cause I know no matter what
My friends will always be there

My friends will always be there
Deep inside I know they care
All the memories we share

This is wad you call goddess

2009-02-16T02:07:00.000-08:00

BOA!!!

MY GODDESS!!!!!!!!

REALLY THE DOPESS GIRL!!!!!!!!

EIEN ” Eternity “ - BoA
Translation:
I’m certain that my fingers were made
for touching your cheek
for touching your cheek
I’m certain that the shining moon is there
for me and you to look at it
it was only for me and you to look at it
whenever i felt down
you were always there by my side
you always smile for me
but now you are gone
from the deepest part of my hands
my sadness pours out in large drops, MY LOVE
in this town, Tonight
I think I’m the one who is crying all the time
Because you loved me
I am who I am now
the time that’s carried by the wind
it brings back the eternity of that day
Bye bye bye
Why did you say bye bye
why did you say bye bye
At that time, about that song we always listen to
it came on while we were standing at the farther corner
and we shared our phones together
and then suddenly you pull away
and the phone comes out of my ear
and I pretend to get mad
our eyes eyes would meet suddenly
our lips would press together
you said that you will always protect me
I try to reach up the navy blue sky
I feel like my heart is about to explode
Just hold me, one more time
If I could have been honest with you
This never would have happened
When i wake up, everything will be a dream
And then you will say bye bye bye
why did you say bye bye
why did you say bye bye
I was looking destructed at the people on the street
while walking with you, the roads with green trees
you told me, make pasta for me next time
and that you will always protect me… but
from the deepest part of my hands
my sadness pours out in large drops, MY LOVE
in this town, Tonight
I think I’m the one who is crying all the time
Because you loved me
I am who I am now
the time that’s carried by the wind
it brings back the eternity of that day
I try to reach up the navy blue sky
I feel like my heart is about to explode
Just hold me, one more time
If I could have been honest with you
This never would have happened
When i wake up, everything will be a dream
And then you will say bye bye bye
why did you say bye bye
why did you say bye bye
bye bye bye
why did you say bye bye
why did you say bye bye
Romanji:
Watashi no yubi wa kitto
kimi no hoho ni sotto
fureru tame dake ni atte
fureru tame dake ni atte
kagayaku tsuki wa kitto
kimi to isshoni zutto
miageru tame dake ni atte
miageru tame daki ni attano
kujikesou na toki ni itsumo tonari ni ite
waratte kureta kimi wa mou inai nda
poroporo te no hira kara koboreru kanashimi My Love
konya kono machi de tabun watashi ga ichiban naiteiru
kimi ni aisareta kara watashi wa watashi ni nareta
toki wo hakobu kaze yo douka ano hi no eien wo kaeshite
Bye Bye Bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Ano koro futari itsumo kiiteta kyoku ga
futo machikado ni nagareteru
iyafon katahou zutsu de
kimi ga totsuzen tsuyoku hipparu kara ne
chotto mimi kara hazurechatte
watashi ga okoru to fuzakete
fui ni kimi to me ga atte kuchibiru wo kasaneta
zutto watashi wo mamoru tte itta noni
Neibii buruu no sora sotto te wo nobashite miru
harisakersou na mune mou ichido tada dakishimete
ano toki sunao ni nareba konna koto ni naranakatta
mezametara subete ga yume de atteyo
soshite mata fuzakete
Bye Bye Bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Michi iku hito wo bonyari miteita
kimi to aruita puratanasu namiki
kondo pasuta tsukutte tte
rainenn ryokou shiyou tte
zutto watashi wo mamoru tte itta noni
poroporo te no hira kara koboreru kanashimi My Love
konya kono machi de tabun watashi ga ichiban naiteiru
kimi ni aisareta kara watashi wa watashi ni nareta
toki wo hakobu kaze yo douka ano hi no eien wo
Neibii buruu no sora sotto te wo nobashite miru
harisakersou na mune mou ichido tada dakishimete
ano toki sunao ni nareba konna koto ni naranakatta
mezametara subete ga yume de atteyo
soshite mata fuzakete
Bye Bye Bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Bye Bye Bye
Why did you say bye bye bye
Why did you say bye bye bye

SHINEE!!!

2009-02-16T02:02:00.000-08:00

OMG!! i love taemin!!!!!!!!

Birthday coming

2009-02-15T21:56:00.000-08:00

these are wad i want n needed..

i lost my wallet.. so a wallet will be good..

GOLD or black colour :D

my ear phone spoil... n i dont reali like to bring e big big headphone out.. coz will damage my hair.. so yea.. hint hint.. (taken by v)

i would like to have the shinny legging.. gold colour or black from bugis street hv alrdy.. HAHAHA.. 12.90

Bikini... yellow or black... or gold.. hahahahahaah (taken by KV)

n... JUNSU PILLOW!!!!!!!! ( should be.. S liao)

Vday!!

2009-02-14T23:04:00.000-08:00

WAKE UP VRY EARLY TO GO SCHOOL.. to actuali wan to study... but end up slack.. make up.. and eat magi mee with Png.. the results wasnt good.. but i pass.. so yea.. and I LOST MY WALLET!!!

I was rushing to go cheers to buy Bens&Jerry for sheila to cheer her up becoz she had been rather emo.. took my wallet in my hand and ran up... but then it was close.. damn shit.. i look at my watch..12!!! and they closes at 12.. so zhun meh!!!! KNS!!

thn i went to the toilet.. and as usual.. left my wallet on the silver tray.. n forgot to take it out!!! onli to realise like 30mins later?? when i was about to pay sherlyn the printing money... zzz still can play comp at library when my wallet is gone..

PEK CEK.. when im so broke.. i lost my wallet.. HENG ARH IC nt lost.. and HENG.. i bought my breakfast before i lost it.. HAHA.. thn i vry touch.. peiwen kip on consoling me.. and ZIYA IS SOOO SWEET U KNOE!! she gav me one dollar to take bus.. to tamp with them.. and folded a heart using the bus ticket n giv to me..

i teared in the bus.. coz i was vry bu gan xin with the lost..

Don bday was a vry peaceful one.. except e part he throw e cream at emily.. damn bad.. he didnt know who put in 3 nights effrot to make e card for him!!!

thn we played the drawing game using don present.. hahahhaa

nex station- mindscafe!!

Gbert came to fetch us.. n to my house to take my money!!! hahaha... i was happily watching dragon ball with my brother!! n was vry giddy as well.. thn DENNIS CALLED!! Gbert second round of fetching reach my house CARPARK~!! zzzzzz hahahaha

bo bian... i hav to giv up my 20yrs old anime.. SO DMAN NICE la... stil e same as it was.. DOPE!

mindscafe is damn fun.. we combine 2 games... and sabotage each other.. im getting better at taboo!!!! haiz..sian png wasnt there.. if nt.. it will be damnnnn fun with her around.. but it was still vry fun.. :D

the hand game is damnnn funny!!! it shows how retarded one can be.. N OMG!! dennis lips!!! LOL!! u guys should see how he draw a trumpet!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i laugh until im out of breath..

mine wasnt any better.. but ANDY CAN GUESS ITS A DOLPHIN!! HAHA!!

nx stop.. jasmine house... go collect car..

and we proceed to MARINA SQAURE..

DAMN IT LA>>. evrywhere also couple...

FULL HOUSE... n ON WAITING LIST... my suki sushi and my hotpot culture!!! end up eat wad.. .Seoul Garden................................... 29.40 on that.. -.-

but thn.. it was damn fun.. im with 4 cul students leh!!! n they perform their tepanyaki skills.. HAHAHAHA!!!

I MISS ANDY's cooking!!! BINTAN TRIP SURE HE COOK LIAO!!

during toilet break..i went to visit bliss.. she look like a little girl wrking in a restaurant.. aahahahaa

my aim was to eat 20 drumsticks.. i gav up on the 5th.. HAHA!! n eat aloot other food as well.. but i didnt think i got eat till 29.40 worth... hahhahaah

but the fun was worth it.. i forgot about my lost wallet.. hahahaha aiyah.. don care la.. if lost.. means lost liao.. if someone will giv it back to me.. it will come back..

after food.. we were soo damn FULL!!!!!!!!!!!

thn strted HTH.. askin eac other love's life.. hahahahaaha jasmine ask me alot weird qns.. and make me miss him soooo much la... but i know.. its a memory alrdy.. :D.. didnt see him for 11 months.. n counting..

somehow.. im afraid of getting into a relationship again.. as there are many factors to consider.. but then the other side of me thinks.. if these factors are factors.. then that guy should nt be the one.. coz he shuold be able to bring me out of these fears and assured me..

wellll.... wait lo..

Marine barrage is damn nicee!! oh ya.. GBERT and NAT was kinda stupid to nt join us for Seoul Garden and at TCC.. hahah they regreted too.. hahahaha!!

alot of couples walking here n there.. like a zoo..

and i jus observe.. alot shuai one lo!!!

hahahaha...

spend time singing and bitching...

on the way to another place... the guys were singing some racist songs.. DAMN FUNNY!!.. B******* and Sentosa..

mary had a little lamb - ___ had a little lamb his fleece as black as coal.. LOL!!

and end up go to this vry NON singapore place.. the rail track area... vry malaysian lo... feel sooo out of place... get a drink.. n went home...

2.30!!

vry tired!!!

HOT GIRLSSSS

2009-02-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

\

LOOK AT THEIR FIGURE!!! NICE LOR... esp Park Ga Hee.. e one in white

I wan to dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I aim to be like Park gahee!!! aim la.. aim.. HAHAHAH!!

:)

2009-02-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

I want a hot date on v day la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaaha

watched BBF!! DAMN TOUCH!!!!!!!! omg.. how to find someone lidat......

one who go crazy over u...
one who willing to chiong all way for u..
one who acts like an idiot for u..
one who doesnt care about anything but u..

I felt that im like jihoo.. lol.. k wadeva.. onli i understand..

i happy this way...

I hate it when pple trying to say " i scared i hurt u"

my immediate reply in mine is " FUCK U LA"

it like.. pls lo.. wadeva~

alrdy hurt means hurt liao.. where gt i scared i hurt u.. -.-!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes pple jus dont think much.. k forget it.. hahahaa im good :D

not saying about her... but jus being generally... coz i met too much of such case..

when pple trying to be considerate but actuali evryword they say is a needle to pple hrt in such situation.. it somehow will appear hypocritic evn if the person does not mean it.. and its like tryin to open a wound or force the person to face smth they don reali feel like facing..

To like someone and to like someone and live with him.. is different thing..

its getting clearer to myself for whom i want to live with..

AH!! my V day!!! hahahahaah

Jihoo and Joon pyo.. im always attracted to jihoo type becoz i find they are vry caring and brother-like.. but i know.. to live with.. its definitely joon pyo character.. one who know how to ride a roller-coaster with me.. than one who guide me how to ride a roller-coaster safely.. or make the rollercoaster a safer one for me..

although having a person like jihoo.. can tame my hot temperness and bringing gentleness into my world.. however.. i prefer to see gentle in a hidden way.. felt than to be seen.. brotherlike figure will be brother like... its different..

I felt that i cannot possibly change myself becoz of another one.. and i wont like the idea of changing or influence the person to become like me...

Giving myself more time and space to see and to understand.. will be a better choice to grow and to learn... which will generally make me a happier person in future :D.. and of coz.. make life easier for my guy :D

HTM gathering

2009-02-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS DAMN FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

H07 loves!!!!!!!!!!!
musical chair is hilarious!!! don see sherlyn smaller size than me k.. she bump me till i drop on e ground.. i do not understand why Don's forfeit becomes mine... =.=.. i went up to dance.. so pai seh..... didnt feel comfortable.. stone a few times.. hahahaha... n e pics taken are HIDEOUS!!!!!!!

BBQ was fun!!! help out.. OTAH!!!!!! perspire so much pls!!!!!

hahaha oh ya.. somebody are getting more obvious on their progresss... hehee.. i vry automatically stop smsing them or talk to thm so much.. coz don wan to disturb..

on e way to sch.. actuali wanted to go beach alone since others going UNDERWATER WORLD.. end up didnt go.. i took e neww tram.. so cool open air.. n kinda big n high.. there was this salormoon girl taking shots.. she's cute..

LUGE.. i own again!!!!! champion!!! hahahaha on e chairlift.. sherlyn sheila n png don allow me to pull e thing up.. they scream like duno wad...

anyway im quite happi.. but the night was a blast!!!!!!!!! i guess i eat too much.. fat like duno wad... 2 week porridge liao.. hahahahaa

TUG O WAR!!! fun!!!!!!!!!!! yeay!!! H07 partially won :D

my finger bleed though.. play as though they killed my mom.. -.-!!!

KC so nt sporty... ask him go up like wan his life.. -.-

JIAN wei is soo damn cute..watching him "fly" while tryin hard to pull..CHERYL AS WEELLL she didnt reali budge.. so damn cool la..

anyway i think when it comes to play.. im vry wild n hao sheng.. i need someone to tame me.. harddddd to find...

KING!!!!!!
RYUN KIAT IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!! hahahah

e moment he walk down to hold ziya's hand is reali OMG!!!!!!!! sweeet till max.. I ALSO WAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n they hug... n he kiss her on her cheek!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! swweeeeett

n thn emily taught us a new game.. chubby bunny!!!!!!!!!! SO FUN!!! i didnt win la.. coz tio choke!! TOO MUCH MARSHMELLOW IN MY MOUTH!! 9?? OR 10?? LOL!!!!!!!!
PNG SHOWED US HER POWER N WON CHAMPION.. 13!!!!!!! LOL!! big mouth~~

we sang alot song " its my life.. have a nice day " LOL!!

on e way we sang shalalala....zzzzzz

on e tram we sang nonsensical songs..!! so fun!!! lemon tree!!!!!!! cute tilllllllll

LOVE THEM LOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ITS BECOZ OF THEM... I FORGOT SADNESS... AND SMILE N LAUGH TILL I TIRED :D HAHAHA!!! LOVE my H07!!!!!!!!!

hiking

2009-02-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

wanted to post this ytd but was toooooooooooo tired... hike 11 km.. 4 hrs plus!!! with an injured ankle.. soo tiring!!!!!!!!!!!!! but it was vry fun and funny... the western food is damn delicious!!! n i rot at home after that.. when im free then i edit..

2009-02-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the joy of love.. for whom i tot was once reali pouring his love for me.. and for those who heal my wounds :D

suffocating

2009-02-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

Been having breathing problems and heart burns.. Suffering.. but i know i can take it.. jus a litttle while... jus a little more.. evrything will be over :D..

All those dreams that had been haunting me will generally become nothing..

I wont cry in studio coz i miss tpde n dancing too much
I wont get drunk and talk rubbish to hurt people
I wont miss u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wont think how pathetic my love life is.. actuali nt pathetic lo.. HAHA!!
I wont become wadeva and I wont behave wadeva
( all these are just dreams )

images are haunting.. they are kinda scary... but i know!! I CAN SURVIVE..
PLS GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO GROW STRONGER AND BECOME A BLESSING TO EVRYONE INSTEAD OF MAKING THEM SAD OR WADEVA..

I wan no heart burns !!!!!!!!! damn disgusting

life is like porcelin... to get stronger.. you have to get crash.. be remould.. and go through high heat enduring the ups n down in life.. and TADA!! a stronger me will be reborn :D

I don mind getting crash time n time again.. though e process is realli OUCH!!

but i know i will become stronger.. I will definately grow. and HOPEFULLY i wont collapse.. I can handle it!!!!

IS THAT ALL U GOT TO GET ME CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!

mus have Jan Di spirit!!

yes u can say Im Stupid.. but Im stupid in my way.. :D Stupid in this way.. thats how im gonna survive..

K lets talk about happy things now..

Went Nat house YTD... DAMN FUN!!!!!!!!! i woke up at the time the rest reached thuogh.. miss e lion dance again this yr.. STIL GT NEXT YEAR!!!!! hahaah!!

Fell down on the way there.. near my house bus stop.. kinda dramatic n vry funny.. because i was dressedup.. n wearing high heels..

I walked confidently and neglected the holes on the pavement.. and i jus landed on the ground... twisted my left ankle.. scratch my right knee and my palm.. =.=

but thn.. i kinda feel shiok about the injury.. LOL!.. its like evrytime im hving heartburns.. i might get injured.. n then e pain will be tranfered there.. a physical pain is still better.. :D

Played the drinking game.. and i was siao... because i ate ALOT.. like 3 plates of stuff before i play the game and drank 2 cups of coke too.. HAHA!! vry bloated...!!

and then there are 2 cute guys :D HAHA!!

one is realii cute.. i think evrybody knows who im talkin about.. but i heard his character aint good... but then!! i kana "saut dao" by him when he giv me the act cute face!! saying" i hv no idea " during the game... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahaahah

the other one.. is funny cute.. i sabo him once... he made me drink like 3 times?? 2 cups each... THNKS AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I enjoy the HTHT sessions... reali bitch alot!!!!!!! i think i changed... hahahaa becoming more n more bitchy... -.-!!!! Like reali talk bad about pple behind their back alrdy.. wadeva la hurh... i happi can liao.. but i kinda feel sad.. why am i lidat..

BUT THN i enjoy myself.. THNKS NAT!!!!!

i hate today somehow

2009-02-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!!!!!!! finish all presentation.. was super nervous.. coz i didnt really prepare myself... and i slpt at 4... heng qns was quit eeasy to handle for me..

played at the comp lab.. like siao char bor.. quite funny la... lol..

no mood to celebrate..... which i plan to...

FUCK LA!!!!!!!!!! play viwawa till quarel with my father coz he kip nagging and direct me on how to play.. while i play.. disturb my playing tactic thn ask me do wrong moves... keep losing!!! end up i shout at him for being vry noisy.. he treat it as real one.. and FLARE UP..

seriously think he is getting old.. getting cuter lo... small things also angry.. and reali angry...

haiz... FUCK LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

k.. i understand how u feel.. i know its my fault as a daughter to even shout at u... so near... if i were in ur shoes.. i sure slap... u're a gd father becoz u tolerated that urge to slap me...

u have been stressed up by the fuck up life of urs as u hv elaborated..

JUST MY LUCK

n he said " i don think u can cool me down "

in addition with.. i know wads real n wads not...

TOTALLY spoil my WHOLE day...

Im super sad.. vry sad ultra sad... until my face is reali > -.-

U know wad i hate most.. to cause any of my family members to be angry or sad..

ouch.. ouch ouch.......

i don even hv e strength to smile..

sorry dad..

wonder how long will this peace out.. ur last sentence was damn scary

" don make me turn into a mad man!!!"

it reali shows me how much u have endure for this family this period of time..

sorry i couldnt be a shoulder.. instead i became a burden..

sorry im too tired to be ur support n i jus need to collapse somehow..

sorry for my insensibility..

sorry for all these sorries which means nothing...

Im still nt grown up..

to sum up...

both of us got over smth kinda stupid.. that the emotion that took over at that second has develop into smth big which involves alot of other thinkings..

you should be- mummy, me, money and life..

me- friends, relationship, studies, family..

this las 2 months is reali a hit.. vry tedious n tiring.. i survived so far.. struggled hard n perservere... and now.. all e tolerance.. broke down.. always wanted to be the strong one.. n hate to " break down".. its tough but i know i can do it.. keep evolving!!! hahahaahaa

sorry papa... i seems to neglect the reason why u wanted to talk so much n be involve in my game.. because u jus want us to have fun tgt... sorry for spoiling that.. T.T

19!!!!!!!!!!! my last teen

2009-02-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im turning soon and i didnt reali realise... in like less than 20 days.... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha

I do have some presents i hope to receive though LOL!!!!!

some skin product... or revlon new foundation..

jacket... or beauty books :DDD hahahaha

k la random..

im jus tryin to digress from my presentation..

Accounting

2009-02-04T06:20:00.000-08:00

DAMN EMO TODAY... MAX liao....

alot things are swirling in my mind... firstly.. ebiz.... but heng.. i think can pass.. provided bullshiting is allow...

tot i lost a friend becoz of a stupid decision i made by being honest with my feelings... but he said nv.. so nv lo...

friends realllli matter alot to me... like REALI

wanted to gain some encouragement from him.. end up.. dont hv... for tml PPT.. and i super tired n sick.. need some motivation..

end up.. THNK YOU SEAN!!!!!!!!! hahaha he brighten up my day man... thnks for ur encouragements ..so damn funny...

and i tot 20/40 is fail... i tot i fail my accounting course wrk.. HOPFULLY i pass class participation la.. pray...

Sean " who say 20/40 is fail.. i go wack that person" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM the one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAH!!!! retarded till... feel so much better.. i can survive tml liao...

NESCAFE for "esctasy " power is needed though...

THOUGH.. had some crap with the PPT.. but hopefully things will go well tml :D

LAST LAP.. lets race!!! before study week!!!!

*** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! gt wad i wan today :D.. happi!!! Arigato na!!!!***
so came back to edit my post.. gambate!

NEW SONG

2009-02-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

Currently.. addicted to this song... DAMN NICE!!!!!!!!!!! from

BOYS BEFORE FLOWERS

FUCKING MEANINGFUL

but just dont like the idea of cry cry cry.. wad heart break ar.. damn emo can.. but its still a nice song.. No wonder e name is " I'm stupid " coz that person who wrote this song is quite stupid.. and damn pessimitic la..

but i listen n like this song.. does it mean im stupid as well ?? hahhahaa NAH... jus find it a good song written.. elaborative.. i still prefer happy song..

Love is.. by DBSK.. DAMN NICE.. Love is all i need.. also.. these 2 are my insomnia lullaby..

I’m Stupid (내 머리가 나빠서).mp3 - SS501

Nae meoriga neomuna nappaseo
neo hanapakke nan moreugo
tareun sarameun pogoittneun neon
ireon naema-eumdo moreugettji

neoui harue naran eoptgettji
tto chu’eokjoch’a eoptgettjiman
neoman paraman pogoittneun nan
chakku nunmuli heureugoisseo

neoui dwaetmoseubeul poneungeotdo nan haengbokiya
ajik naui ma-eumeul mollado
kkeutnae seuch’ideusi kado

niga neomu pogosip’eun nalen
neomu kyeondigi himdeul naleneun
neoreul saranghanda ipgae maemdola
honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU
honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you!

neoui harue nan eoptgettji
tto kieokjoch’a eoptgettjiman
neoman paraman pogoittneun nan
honja ch’ueokeul mandeulgo isseo

naegen sarangiran areumdaun sangch’eokat’a
neoui yeppeun misoreul poado
hamkke nan utjido mothae

niga neomu saenggaknaneun nalen
kaseum sirigo seulp’eun naleneun
niga pogosip’ta ipgae maemdola
honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU
honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you!

Bye, bye, never say goodbye
ireohke chapji mothajiman
I need you amu maldo mothae I want you
paraedo dasi paraedo

niga neomu pogosip’eun nalen
neomu kyeondigi himdeul naleneun
neoreul saranghanda ipgae maemdola
honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU

niga neomu saenggaknaneun nalen
kaseum sirigo seulp’eun naleneun
niga pogosip’ta ipgae maemdola
honja dasi tto CRYING FOR YOU
honja dasi tto MISSING FOR YOU
Baby! I love you! I’m waiting for you!

TRANSLATION

I’m really, very foolish
I know of no one other than you
you’re looking at someone else
yet you have no idea of my feelings like this

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be in the memories either, however
only you, I looked only at you
and the tears keep coming

As i watch you walking past, I’m still happy
even yet you still don’t know my heart
I should stop this and go

I really want to see the day
I’m withstanding the pain each day
“I love you” is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, I love you, I’m wiating for you

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be remembered either, however
only you, I looked only at you
I’m making memories alone

Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
I look at your pretty smile also
but I cannot laugh with you

I’m thinking about you so much everyday
my heart is hurting in all these sad days
‘I want to see you’ is playing on my lips
alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, i’m waiting for you, I love you

bye bye, never say goodbye
even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you, I cannot say anything more, I want you
I keep on hoping too, I’ll keep hoping….

I really want to see the day
I’m withstanding the pain each day
“I love you” is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you

I’m thinking about you so much everyday
my heart is hurting in all these sad days
‘I want to see you’ is playing on my lips
alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, i’m waiting for you, I love you

Insomnia

2009-02-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot believe i actuali suffer from insomnia... i guess its due to sch wrk.. i've been sleeping unevenly... hahha wad a word..

then always MSN till late or watch vids till 3plus 4 then slp... saut..

Went to see doctor coz its quite serious liao... despite exercising before i slp.. making myself extra tired.. i still cant slp... roll for 2 hours plus..

He said i am young for sleeping pills so only gave me drowsy medicine such as pain killer for my headache.. but thn i still dun understand why got antibiotic.. hahahaha

JIA LAT.. tml gt test.. how to study~

k anyway... im abit sad leh... wondering if i've made e wrong choice being honest with my feelings nt.. since to cause some troubles again... haiz.. as usual..
how to let them knw that i don care lehz...

although claims to be nt affecting friendship.. but somehow i can feel its no longer e same lo.. how to show that i onli wan FRIENDSHIP leh??? :(

haiz... stupid lor.. if i swallow my implusion better..

love comes n go easily.. so i reali doesnt matter.. Im contented to dream about a relationship i wanted.. or watch drama to get influence..im happy alrdy..but friends that can click.. are hard to come by... i really matter!!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~

do i seem like i am a scheming person?? I very scared pple get e wrong idea of me becoz of my " happenings " I reali hv no motive laaaaaaaaaaaa.. k think too much..

anyway i completely KO also.. lose till... bo way gong.. one simple remark from her can make him FLY to her side... hahahahaa.. I nth to say.. but vry cute ar.. its so real of someone who is in love to do smth lidat.. hahahaha

she is also quite stupid to doubt his feelings too.. so yah... im OUT of the picture already... i guesss.. i was nv inside before la.. hahahahaaha

they say wan to read my blog... MA LA WU KO LENG!!!!!!!!! sure wont give de lo... i blog abt them leh.. like now??? hahahahahhaa!!

but if they can find it.. then fate lo.. coz i duno how to make it private.. -.-

im a blog noob pls.. evrything is friends help me do de lo..

I NAN DE DO TUTORIAL LEH.. coz someone ask me try.. KNS overslpt!!! waste my effort!!!!!.. but shun bian la.. gt reason see doctor liao... SUPER reluctant to see lo.. coz i think doctor no use one... hahahaahhaa its all in the mind..

coz if u know u sick.. slp n eat healthy la.. giv u 100 medicine u don take care of yrself also no use..

WU LIN DA DAO COMES TO AN END!!! hei jiao got first!!!!! hahahaha and MANIAC THIRD!! love these 2 group la.. dope shit.. haiz... cant dance for concert till now still sad.. who ask me.. need money.. hv to wrk.. hahaahaha... but oh well.. will go back to dance for sure...

IM FREAKIN TRIED.. thnks to the medication!!!!! WAH!!!!!!!!!!!! my ebiz going to dang diao???????!!! I DON WAN!! I STILL HAVEN DO MY PPT SCRIPT PLS!!!!!!!!!
Wonderwoman MLPX needs to evolve...

So long as im happy

2009-01-30T07:20:00.000-08:00

Semester is coming to an end soon... Only 2 weeks left before study break.. and soon the class will break up.. although will stil stay as friends but i think e connection will not be as close..

Well.. love some of them... like reali..

This sem is a emotional semester, i strt to understand things better and treasure.. but nt reali my ITEMS.. stil lose them..

I cannot imagine my world without friends.. I will be so uber lonely.. they are a source of emotions..

If anybody lay their hands on my friends.. i sure FIRE like duno wad..

that day weida pull sherlyn.. my eyes is full of sha qi.. hhahaha

and in the mrt.. that group of ill mannered malays.. walao!!

anyway my projects mates.. without u guys.. there wouldn be so much experience..

SHEILA!! hahaha like my second sister :D.. addicted to her house.. love her family.. can click.. hahhaha... she's vry cute and small size..
Van.. like my girlfriend lidat.. always must nag at her.. enjoy suanning her.. jus like a small lil girl.. hahahaa!!
Candy.. always surprizes me with her mood swing.. and she is also another veryy nice girl..
COLBY!!! ALWAYS SUAN ME N BULLY ME!!! hahahaha though i always complain about him.. he is still a very nice brother like friend..
Gwen... influence and wear fake eyelashes... dont understand why she score so well for evry tests!!

Love my other classmates too!!

KC EMILY SEAN JIANWEI!!!

Kc is like a new brother to me la... can just talk cock and behave like siao char bor he also don mind one... very comfortable when i'm talkin to him..

EMILY!! love her a lot!! her attitude her lovableness hahahaha smart but not dao.. i like!

Sean.. nv fails to gek me till i wan to bang wall.. damnnn lame!!! but vry fun to talk to..

JIANWEI!!! hahahahaa always amuse me with his actions and speech.. sooo cute !!!

Wei kiang.. or should i say LAO DA!! a vry interesting person whom i enjoy making fun of..

wei da.......................... hahhaha surprisingly we can talk.. but i always end up flaring... hope he can show improvements in his attitude la..

SHERLYN and MEL PNG.. these 2 no need say one.. coz they are 1H07.. my love!!

Although i shi lian la... but then i still must stay optimisic :D!!

actuali i feel vry relieve to be honest with my feeelings but i duno how troubled he might be.. which im kinda.. sad abt it.. tried match making him.. but didnt reali wrk out and i also cannot reali set myself to do it.. its a happy yet painful job..

E song he let me listen.. was super touching.. i cried... alot.. hahaha and its super funny when e girl didnt understand wad e song is tryin to say andi hv to listen carefully and explain to her word by word... but nice experience anyways..

Overall i can say his presence brought me alot laughters.. coz he super lame.. hahaha
Im glad we are still friends even after this incident.. and i super honest with him abt my feelings.. haahaa.. Will get it out of my mind someday.. when i saw some hot cute pretty guy out there.. LOL!!!

I hope we can reali behave like siblings lo.. it would be good :D

And I reali wish that one day... my craziness/happiness/optimistic??? could influence him and mend his wounds... it might nt have to be me.. but jus hope he recover from this and be strong.. its the same for the rest of my friends who are hurt in relationship..

sometimes i reali hate love as it is very painful and sour.. however.. one smile one laughter and a hug... from a sincere one... could jus erase all these pain..

I will met someone who will go crazy for me one day.. jus like how joon byo go crazy after he met jan di.. Wait la.. jus wait.. hahahaa

OH YA!! walao.. i regret nt approaching this guy for contact.. he damnn cute.. some sound system crew member or guest relations i think.. hope i can see him again at ritz carlton or somewhere else...

anyway.. i think that we should let e pple we love to know how happi we are becoz of them and nt how much we suffered becoz we love them too much.. So evrybody!!! lets be strong and smile :D!!!!

Be strong then u can protect the ones u love.. be their shelter.. be their dustbin.. be their pillow.. be their sun!!

LOVE?

2009-01-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

Randomly wrote a song.. its not very polish or rather i didnt polish.. but i jus decided to post it.. a very simple one.. hehe

我喜欢想着你可爱的笑眯眯
你的孩子气是我喜欢的气息
不能在一起没有关系
至少你懂得我的心
在你身边停留, 转一圈也甘心
不管爱情道理规矩
友情也可以

Oooow

单恋也许是种幸福
从中能得到不同的领悟
我学会体谅接受和祝福
看得更清楚
单恋也许是种幸福
用另一种方式去喜欢你
我的日记里还会很甜蜜

因为你傻笑变成了一种习惯
喜欢聊天到凌晨两点半
你傻得可以
老斗我开心
我怎么可能为了爱情
放弃这友情

OMG its christmas!!!

2008-12-26T02:44:00.000-08:00

my godness!! its christmas!!! its been a super long time since i blog.. its stagnant.. ok since its christmas i think i should reali blog..

been unhappy and happy these few days.. and reflected alot..

firstly about BGR.. i decided that i hv to move alrdy.. its goin to be 2009.. not issac not Mc.. well if we are fated to be.. thn jus let God shows the way.. but right now.. im jus very grateful for wad i have..

i don blame them for the tears i shed.. for the heart that was crash.. but i thank them for the smiles they brought.. the warmth they gave.. the lesson they taught..
There may be some regrets.. but i know i cant regret in life.. as there is no turning back.. there could only be " a lesson learn ".. if its meant to be.. somehow it will come.. it jus how u manage it..

I think setting ourselves free.. also gives freedom others.. in this way.. all parties wil be happy :D... i realii hope that they could understand.. im hv no motive!! and jus wana be friends :D good friends :D..

its abit sad that once broke up.. they no longer dote on me :(.. i wish that they will still dote on me.. as a friend.. i will feel much blissful :D hehehe..

There are still many guys out there.. but not now.. i guess

okay lets talk about friends..

IM SO DAMN FUCKING HAPPY SO SEE MY VOLLEYBALL GIRLS!!! its like OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahah

yea.. although we didnt actuali played the game.. but i enjoy that day vry much.. so muc memories..

Im am bless with good friends around me.. jus that maybe coz of my heck care character i often didnt see ho wwell pple treat me.. coz i always think that its ok for pple to treat me as air.. but as long as i care for them im ok.. but it turn out to be.. its nt that im treated as air.. its jus the love is kept in the heart :D

christmas is a time to reali show how loved u are :D..

WHERRE SHOULD I GO ON 31st!!!!

hahahah

ok.. academically wise.. im nt so good la... HAHAHA.. nt smth i can push myself for.. evrybody has their own forte.. but academically im nt... but practically i guess i am.. so im nt vry worried for my future.. im jus worried i cant get a good husband.. LOL!! hahaahah k la.. sure will worried but nt so paranoid..

now.. my family..

this holiday enable me to spend more time with them... esp my mom coz she stop wrking for a short period of time.. its vry good to see her around although she can be super naggy and boil my blood at times... but my mom sacrifies soooooo much for me.. in this whole world.. no body can love me more than she did... becoz she is the one who can die for me.. since the day i was born.. evry mother risk their lives to bring their child to this world.. and it takes alot to brought them up... IM A VRY UNFILLIAR daughter.. becoz im super expressive.. therfore i always scold her and said nasty things when she did smth stupid.. but i nv put myself in her shoes.. and think e othre way round.. im so stupid... i jus like a princess.. taking things for granted.. but now i shall learn how to love and give more than i use to.. and

after watching NP dance concert danzation 2008.. it kinda affect me.. coz of the father n daughter scene.. they are soo familiar.. except the father die la.. CHOI!!!

he use to carry me into the room when he is still strong n young.. always take good care of me.. scared im hungry.. always bring good food for me.. and yet.. im so immature to scold him useless when he is depress..

he is nt a useless father.. becoz.. he brought me up.. n he tried his best to do wad he can for the family.. maybe the way he didnt do it greatly or as successfully as other fathers.. but he tried and put in effort.. so i stil love my father..

I became kinda family oriented.. duno why la.. ZAI NU.. hahahahaha

and my brother.. nth to say abt him.. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! so bad.. no la.. the whole world knows how much i love him.. so there nth much to say..

:D

TOLERANCE ENDURANCE SELFCONTROL!! hahahahaha

this is another way

2008-11-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

I think i jus need to scold myself till i feel so damn down its time for me to wake up..

you are so damn useless.. only know how to live e life of a pig.. slp n eat.. thn day dream... unserious about ur sch wrk... don wan to study alrdy is it??

where is your aspiration to study in UNI..

where is your motivation to fight for the best?

where is your nv say die spirit??

wasting ur life away... concentrate on something more worthwhile la.. walao.. u don have enough time alrdy still slp slp slp or slack...

can you jus buck up?? pull up ur socks......

now its nt e time to dwell over unhappy pass or think about rs.. its over.. long over... so wad u miss him... don let it get into ur way...

faster do ur wrk...get it done nicely.. so u can hv more time... to go and WRK and earn money.. thn u can buyy the things u wan... attend classes u wan...

there are more things to look forward to in life ya know.. dont SLACK it off.. becoz u jus wan it ur way... coz u are tired...

NONONONO!!!!!!! cannot let tiredness get into ur way..

MUST CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!!!!!! test ur limit mah........

COME ON LA... stop being a loser and behave as if evryone owe u a living lo..

reflect n think actuali it all lies in u... becoz u bhv like a loser.. u appear like one...

have more determination la.. and cheer up leh.. wheres ur smile.. wheres ur energy??

theres so many things that can happen.. nth is absolute..

BE URSELF!! BRING It back!!

Finally

2008-11-17T05:10:00.000-08:00

YEAY!!

finally... after shopping for like 2 or 3 weeks.. i saw the ring that i like and a necklace that is very unique.. BUT THEN... i think im a idiot to spend that amount for it when i can buy cheaper and " younger" lookin ones...

but thn... SPENT ALRDY

i bought it from isetan.. from BLINK BLINK..

I wad told that there is onli one piece... so YEAY!! im the onli one who have it..

the ring is 25.90.. nt say very ex la..

the necklace is 49.90... very nice right... artisy... hahaha but then.. smth is missing frm e necklace.. i duno wad.. like.. too plain..

a small red rose on top will be nice??

True words hurt..

2008-11-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

Been kinda "weak" in my mindset... it aint good..

Give up easily and been very pessimistic...

SP concert was done very nicely... i got blown away by the modern pieces and I enjoyed their funk style alot...

I told myself i gotta train hard.. but i did nth... walao..

anyway.. on the train pang yang words hit me...

" can see u are those vry pessimistic"

all e while ive been tryin hard to potray to pple that im a strong and optimistic girl.. yet this hit me... am i so unhappy that its so obvious on my face..

I will pull my self back on track i promise...

its been a long time since i was this sick...

i think its food poisoning... one hour of torture in e toilet.. vomitting from the muoth and the ass...

visited e toilet mor ethan 10 times after tat 1 hour....

felt so numb on my limbs but i continue to work... and tell myself i can take it.. and i did :D... heehee...

i told myself... i have to set a purpose each day.. and have to do it... if nt i will be wastin mylife away...

i attended lecture and tutorial today.. though fall aslp during lecture.. vry guilty.. hahahaha

* would u love someone who is not suitable for you ? "

i ask my friend this qns today...

unlike poles attract and like poles repels...

how true is this???

I kip thinkin of my ex.. and that fling* hahahaha...

many good memories for the first..

but nt reali for the second.. felt being used..

I come to realise how much he actuali loves me but i was nt sensitive enuf to it..

however its all the end~

I didnt give a second thought whn my friend ask me.. what if he ask u for a patch..

"I will run to him no matter where he is.."

LOL!!!!!

but again.. how true is this.. will i reali do that?

the reason we broke up is becos we are nt suitable..

will a patch up be redundant?

I duno...

I WANT TO SMILE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drama...

2008-11-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

watching " bu liang xiao hua " its funyy.. and damn sweet...

pan wei bo.. is reali e type of guys that can melt one's heart...

caring.. smart.. determine.. charming... talented..

as i watch i reali felt love.. coz its vry sweet la..

but.. im so afraid of "love" right now.. thus evrytime i get out of a "show" i will jus lock my heart up.. whoever dare to touch it or tries to open it.. shall DIE!!

hahahahaha kidding...

i jus find tat.. somehow.. it doesnt belong to me... but i stil wan to stay optimistic and thinks that one dayyyyyyyyyy... i will find my happiness and bliss..

but.. haiz.. been crasheddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd till...................

i wan to lose hope..

but i know i cant...

Daddy doesnt reali allow me to have a boyfriend.. from e conversation we had las night.. i can tell..........................

love.. is reali a weird thing... it can make other pple sooooo happy..

yet.. make me felt like a fool.. n soo damn hurtful........ and even pple around me to be sad...

im still young la.. 18.. going 19 MY GOD!! my las teen... in 3 months time..

slowly lo.. i dun think things will reali las long..enuf at this age..

dont wan to waste my "life" crying anymore...

i think my heart cannot take all e heartburns alrdy...

but then!!! hahhahaha i still want to watch those happy love drama series to feel their happiness and laugh idiotically infront of my computer and be in my own world... hahahhaa

i hope the hole my heart will heal before i turn old.. don wan to be a nun... hahahahaha!! k wadeva...

Im tired from crying too much.. my eyes super tired.. shall stop here..

oh well

2008-11-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

hm... well.. dono wad to say... as usual...

I successfully protray myself like a bitch.. like big time...

emphasize i club alot.. which i onli went 5 times in my life..

bitching about pple.. which i dont reali do...

felt a change in me..

like how come...

Is it a way for revenge for e failure of relationship i had?? or am I truely such a bitch...

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its jus..

FUCK UP LA!

stupid cough sweet!!!!!

random post

2008-10-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

actuali gt alot things wan to post.. but oh well.. randomly say la

went to Studio wu for lesson... was quite happy i got praised... by kate and micheal.. lol!... i find bryan DAMN cute!!!! omg his body language is sooo dammn sexy!!! i wan a friend like dat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heard that he has a boyfriend but duno if its true.. I WAN A GAY FRIEND LIKE DAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! so damn cute la!!!! i use to dislike gays but now i find most of them cute!! and SEXY!!

went back to ritz carlton to wrk.. though sch reopen.. need money lo... for alot uses.. hahaha

vernon bday... went to billy for dinner coz waraku full house.. saw blissy... my sister.. soo cute!! hhahaha.. end up onli bought him a drink.. hahah he vry funny... bday boy treat me leh!... coz i too broke.. -.-!! wanted to drink e drip but its 50 plus... walao.. one day i will go there try... we pub hop... from duno wad hop to clinic.. my god... e margarita is so much better la... MY FAV DRINK!!!!!!!!!! mus be drank FROZEN!!!!!!!

singapore sling is.. fruit punch lo... kns..

didnt get to see MR Garbage Bag.. i duno his name!!!!!!!!!! but it seems like he didnt went back to wrk.. coz i didnt see him... :( :( :( :( :(... my leader was a new guy... his name is erco... indonesian quite cute but nt gentleman enuf... mayb is jus some misunderstanding.. oopps...

i stupidly scolded william.. my director " si garfield " heng he nt angry.. hhahaha and i finally saw his bike.. kinda cool...

saw john like after 2 weeks and im damn high.. his my fav pple in charge!! coz of his humor.. hahahahahaha miss him alot lo!!!

was very happy that vernon send me home after wrk... quite random... but he says he happens to be there... so he ask me if i need a ride home... he took e wrong road and pass by his house instead.. so funny!! make a big turn lo... he stays near my cousin house!!!

i was kinda emo coz i walk pass 2 big rows of strawberries on my way to e toilet during operation hours... coz las dish is desert with strawberries.. i don get to eat them.. but i went to buy a 500g strawberry cake and eat 2/3 of it... hehee.. coz mum say i cannot finish it... i buy one lo!!!!!

k... kinda fat alrdy... coz always eat supper and sweet stuff.. and alot stuff..

i duno why pple say carls junior can make one very full.. i ate a super star large meal by myslef.. change e fries to beef fries.. though fries share with friends... i finish e large drink n e burger i stil nt full... hv to buy a cheesecake then i full lo... hahhaha..

recently abit luan about bgr also.. thnks to SOMEONE...... duno why i feel vry affected by him.. but i comfirm i wont like him one lo... jus that will think abt him but at e same time convincing myself.. i wont like him... COZ HE SMOKES AND HE IS SHORTER THAN ME and alot factors la...

vernon suddenly emo siah... sms me emo stuffs i read alrdy i laugh.. so damn bad.. but cant help it.. he have to get over man..

but did i get over mine??? i wonder..... but i still misses them.. :D

my Dumby and MC

no.. no longer mine.. or was never?

its been more than half a year since i saw dumby... i wonder how is he now.. but i guess it would be another half a year for us to meet up.... busy guy..

oh ya.. jus rmb that danny gave me a flower.. though its fake.. hahahaha damn happy when i receive coz he says its his first time giving it.. but when he told me e reason.. my face change.. LOL!! how cute can he be!!!!! he says its becoz he was force to buy it... at e hospital while doing his check up.. and jus nice.. he meeting me for lunch... so he gav it to me... awwww how nice.. HAHAHA!! but thnks anyway.. i love purple flowers... hope one day i will receive a real boquet of flowers... RED or PURPLE or BLUE... dont reali like pink or white flowers.. but purple goes well with white.. heehee.....

k la.. tml lesson so early.. i think i will faint in lecture room again lor... 2 hrs later than wake up... standard.. going to my lala land............

love

2008-10-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

suddenly... i start to open my heart to this topic again... kinda not use to it la..

coz all e while when someone tells me abt me.. i will jus " ASK ME FOR WAD? "

I refuse to touch my wounds.. damn scared..

but i watched a show today which taught me.. " to overcome is to face it "

k i will face it... but i will not try it.. as in.. i will talk abt it.. but i wont let myself get into a relationship..

now i look into alot things when in a boyfriend.. i will not " try " a relationship again...

unlesss he makes me feel that.. I should be with him.. i hv to be..

my friend ask me wad i look for hmm.. alot materialistic things la..

- tall
- good looking
- rich
- smart
- healthy
- loyal
- caring
- dote on me
- being real

of coz the list goes on... but this type of guys.. HARD TO FIND.. got la.. drama lo

i missed my exs..

i reali do la..

i still love e first bf.. coz.. its jus lidat lo.. but then i ve been crashed by him many times ever since we broke up...

he showed me how much he doesnt wan me anymore... how much he hopes that i would hate him.. how much we could jus be normal friends.. sometimes he even give me e feeling... lets be strangers..

becoz of all these.. i cant bring myself to like him anymore..

the second one bastard me la.. hahahaha but i still miss him.. he lied to me many times i guess.. but i still care for him... he seems vry lost.. or lonely..

if he sees this he will " dont think so highly of urself as if u know alot "

hahaha but thats how i feel la.. i feel like lending him a shoulder.. let jus lean against n say nth.. but.. i know.. he doesnt reali wan to see me also..

I been hurt badly.. but thn... Im still young.. i still many chances.. i jus wan to be alone for e time being... busy with many things... evryday do wad i like.. and do not have to make time or arrangement becoz of the other one...

came across this song.. its dam nice.. reali is DON TELL ME ABOUT LOVE!!! this sentence reali says wad im feelin man... thats why recently those guys who tell me they like me or wan to woo me... my first reaction " CRAP LA! " k la.. its damn rude.. but i reali feel vry irritated n annoyed.. when pple can jus say like easily.. wad do they look for in a relationship.. i reali wonder..

放飞心情

太多爱不明不白
我还在分手的那一天原地徘徊
太多事不明不白
不明白怎么笑着走出来

不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去再也回不来
不要对我再说爱
我还在秋千上摇摆

太多人不明不白
我不想重新开始后
还想着原来
太多人不必等待
我不能给你确定的未来

不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去回不来
不要对我再说爱
我还在秋千上来回摇摆

不要对我再说爱
我坦白一直忘不了原来
不要对我再说爱
我害怕我们再受到伤害

不要对我再说爱
你回来可是过去回不来
不要对我再说爱
就让我一个人静静摇摆

一段爱从不明白到明白
我的眼泪才慢慢流出来
~~end~~

i wan to keep all those memories i have.. put it in my lifestory.. making it more fufiling and abundance of emotions... even more meaningful..

the day i say it out

2008-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

it was mom's bday celebration..

guess i had been tired...

been very willful AGAIN!!!!!!!!! bad habit...

DAD wanted to go to this restaurant i find it ulu... then i rejected.. he was kinda angry... and kip askin them to go jumbo... but then end up coz mom doesnt want crab... DUNO WHY! we jus go to the food court and order alot things...

there was a motorbike who drove pass damn fast.. i jus shouted " fuck that motor la " coz of the exhaust it give out.. walao.. damn smelly lo..

my father was pissed.. but i didnt know...

end up at e car park.. he suddenly say wad.. jus becoz i let u have ur way doesnt mean u can live like a youngster who is lookin for trouble... it hurts alot!!!

thn duno why... link till clubbing.. i let u club is to let u see e world.. nt become like dat... since when he bothers about how fluent my vulgarities can be... learn from him one lo... then he add on wad "its hard to be independent ok " HURTS

end up i cannot take it.. and burst... ran to e beach... my father followed and screamed at me... i stopped and he lectured me...

I cried out all my sorrows and troubles i had ... telling him how hard i tried to live my life and be independent so that he doesnt need to wrry abt me n jus concentrate to settle his probs..

but him sayin its hard for me to be independent is like crashin me..

I wrked like shit.. earn like shit.. FOR WAD? give myself a better life which i think my parents could nt afford.. i wan to buy more clothes.. more shoes.. more thigns that can make me prettier.. attend more dance classes.. buy thigns for my brother my mother and father... all these is money!.. i cant possibly ask money for this type of uses.. so i hav to earn it myself wad...

transport... handphone.. food.. 10 dollars per day.. enuf meh??

he agreed to pay for my monthly consession which HELP ALOT!! 50 dollars lo!!..

i think i will save up la.. don buy too much unesscessary things le lo...

but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i still need to buy

- new shoe bag.. coz i lost mine
- new wrking pumps...... lost
- make ezlink.. lost
- wireless connector... spoil
- monitor... too old

these will cost me smth... hahhahaha pengz

i want to buy

-black short
-bangles
-colourful cap
-new shoe for dance

hmm... have to wait..

oh well.. i duno wad to say le la.. mind quite blank..

zzzzzz

2008-10-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!

thats why i hate to share my experience in wadeva i do outside with my family members!!!!

its been a long time since i quarel with gorgor...

FUCK LA!!!!!!! i hate it...

i know u feelin down la.. but why vent on me siah...

i know i retarded... slow... stupid... but so wad!! im like dat wad....... BRAIN MALFUNCTIONING!!!!!!!!!!!

U LEH! EVRYDAY STAY AT HOME DON WANT TO START UR LIFE SERIOUSLY! HOW OLD ALRDY!

FUCK IT LA... CHAO CHEE BYE KANINA...

I HATE TO STAY AWAKE AT HOME!! ITS ONLI A PLACE FOR ME TO SLP AND PLAY COMP AND SHUT MY MOUTH!

SCH FASTER STRT LA... THN NO NEED TO SEE ANY OF U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM ALSO TIRED OK!!!

EVRYTHING ALSO I OWNSELF SETTLE.. ONLI SOMETIMES WILL TALK TO U ALL... ASK FOR ADVICES... OR DO ALRDY THN GT CHANCE DISCUSS...

YA IM 18 ALRDY...

HAVE TO BE EVEN MORE INDEPENDENT...

DON WORRY...

I WONT TALK THAT MUCH ABOUT HOW I HAVE BEEN DOING... WAD AM I DOING...

I CAN JUS FUCK OFF..

hmmm

2008-10-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

SATURDAY was so called my last day of work...

coz sch is going to strt in a week time and i had plenty of things to do..

Been busy.. and time jus PHEWWWWWWWWWWW... fly past... damn fast... eh rhyme.. hahaha..

i think i enjoyed myself vry much... i think i stay at home for less than 10 days onli.. this whole 2 months... either wrk.. play.. or dance... EAT!.. hahaha

I think i gain weight too lo... actuali lost.. but after wrking at M FLOOR.. i think i eat alot... thnks to........... hahahaha... he had been taking very good care of me.. Im actuali very touched.. without him.. i think i need to struggle alot!.. but i guesss.. i have to be independent lo.. cannot rely on anybody..

Quite grateful it las for one week onli.. in bth side la.. kinda long.. yet kinda short... he taught me alot.. as well as anan la.. also hlp me alot.. if its one month i wrk with him evryday.. i think i will rely on his pressence lo... heng ar.. one week onli.. hehe...

walao.. sentosa owe me pay.. i think im going to quit there.. but then.. its suepr convinient leh.. after sch.. jus wrk... thn at night can go st james.. LOL!!!! hahahaha..

oh man... FRI NIGHT... e music sux!!! trans.. I DON LIKE TRANS.. well apparently nt many like.. coz a few went up to poleum.. i went up ALONE.. thne i pull jasmine n cheryl up.. poor shawn.. was chase down by the bouncer..

omg.. jasmine grind me till i damn shy and cover my face lo.. i can feel her whole body attach to mine!!! how come guys like to grind girls!!!!!!!!! and i was grinded by one... at first jus being playful n dance along.. be friendly... but end up don feel right coz he is moving closer and like dance damn long and wont automatic walk away.. he buay sian i also sian... stupidly... i put my hands tgt as though i was prayin to ask for help rfm reuben.. but he like duno how to save me... i was saved by shawn!!! who bang that guy away... hahahaha!! but also thnk you reuben and lester for their effort...

damn scary k... chase him away liao still come back find me!.. i hav to hide in the middle of my friends..

got to know some new friends who i think i can click with... :D very happy.. hehe.. thnks for the massages guys!! shiok arh... nex time i wil warm up first b4 i explode.. hahahahaha thne wont tio injured..

my shoe OMG!! e flat CMI.. think i need smth harder to dance with...

I LOST MY PUMPS!!!!!!! second time!!! walao... jus bought leh... gonna buy again to wrk... so dumb! ya dumb is me lo! duno wheres my brain.. kip forgeting stuff!!!

clubbing after 16hrs of wrk.. and 17hrs of wrk frm previous day... wasnt a good experience... cant get high... tired lo... slept at bar while sitting and dance floor while standing...

I LIKE SHAWN's JACKET!! hahahaha k random.. walao.. i lost my fav tube la... :'(
EVEN CLOTHING ALSO CAN LOSE!!! PRO!!!!!!! i think nx time i shall try losing my bra.. LOL!!! choi choi choi!! if lost bra.. need to paste plaster liao.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! kidding...

I rot at home today... kinda regret nt wrking... waste time n no income.. walao... but ok la... rest lo......................

MONDAY
- mom's blow cake session... and gotta go airport fetch andy n mel png coz they came back frm honeymoon

TUESDAY
- h07 challet and BBQ!! omg EAT AGAIN!!

WEDNESDAY
- www and clubbing at night

THURSDAY
- mom's day out celebration

FRIDAY
- friend's bday party

SAT
- dance lesson, shopping at bugis street, night clubbing

SUNDAY
- sentosa

MONDAY
- SCH REOPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man... see i soooooo busy right... heng im single ar... add one more boyfriend i can jus feed on energy booster..

i think i hv been kidna crazy recently.. don ask me why... it jus happen la... but im nt loose!! im jus EXPRESSIVE!!!!!! nvm... some pple jus don understand... im fine..

vry hungry la... but nth to eat..

It was a blast

2008-09-29T08:10:00.000-07:00

!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im missing my claymore 2 soo badly... wanaa go back work!!!

I miss evrybody!!!

except.. u guys know who la... HAHAHA

stop smsing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MISS MARCO!!!! TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!! miss all his crap!! the cutest chef i hv met!!! walao.. nobody give me food le.. hahahahahahaa regret nt askin his contact...

I miss alot pple who i may nt get to see again.. coz doubt they are going back to wrk..

I miss perry!!! hahahha so irritating also... HE PASS HIS COUGH TO ME!! hahaha cannot forget e scene at store room.. so funny!! when he feed me e cod fish.. e face of .... LOL!!

dont know who go spread e cough drop thing.. is actuali nth big wad... buyin cough drop for someone coughing like his lungs going to burst...

hm..

I miss huiying shauna regina ah pui n so many other girls... oh man...

i miss e food... hahahahaha carviar nt nice one lo............ cheat my feelings..

but blue cheese is GOOD!! hahahaha

first time eat hagen daz till i scared... 5 serving!!

anyway ah boon treat us damn good lo... soo happy ..

oh ya.. the ambasaddors... LORAIN IS HOT!!!!!!!! i like her to e max man... her character and looks... oh my god... faint!

anne is like a good elder sister taking care of us... she will be a good wife :D

and benjamin is hot! hahaha so cute la!!!! omg! hahahaha but didnt reali talk muc wit him.. sianz..

it feels great being there for F1... the noise made by the crazy machine.. and the speed it went its amazing.. spectacular...

i feel excited whenever i saw them race...

its SHIOK la.. hahahaha

earn 48 plus... these 3 days... quite happy :D at least i got money

but the memories worth ALOT...

It will be kept in me :D

Happy song

2008-09-15T12:06:00.001-07:00

Ni de sheng ying ni de xiao rong
Wo dou shou bu liao
Ni de yan shen ni de lian kong
Rang wo sheng hun dian dao

Ni de shen cai ni de wei dao
Zheng jia wo xin tiao
Ni de pi qi ni de gu zhi
Rang wo geng shou bu liao

Sha sha de ni bu dong wo zai sheng qi
Ruo wu qi shi ji xu ni de hua ti
Da lie shan dian hai pao dao kong di qu
Zhe yang de ni ke ai dao di kan le dou bu ren xing

Wo jiu shi teng ni ai ni
Ba ni fang jin kou dai li
Shui dou bu neng dai ti ni
Oh baby ni shi wei yi

Ni de tian mi ni de xiao rong
Wo dou shou bu liao
Ni de yan shen ni de lian kong
Rang wo sheng hun dian dao

Ni de shen cai ni de wei dao
Zheng jia wo xin tiao
Ni de pi qi ni de gu zhi
Rang wo geng shou bu liao

Bie de ren zhi hao dou shang shan bi guan xiu lian
Dan shi zhong bi bu guo bao bei ni dai gei de tian
Dang ta men xia shang hou zai wen wo duo yi bian
Wo yi jin shou dai zhe ni ge de zhuan shi jie zhi

emo song

2008-09-15T11:07:00.001-07:00

曾经为你笑得眯眯眼
现在为你哭红了双眼

封锁信任的范围我以为秘密能解
用心挽救你的美我闯进了你的累
狂风暴雨怎么吹我都坚持不反悔

勇敢也好幼稚和好
温暖我紧紧拥抱

我害怕失去
从一开始保留感情犹豫
我不懂地追
红色的玫瑰让你犯了罪

原来玻璃鞋会破碎
苹果巨毒来不及解
还象白痴一样认为
最终的答案是完美

我还学不会
平下心体会安慰无奈地
流下隐形的眼泪

chalet

2008-09-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

OMG! i cant believe that i actuali dare to walk in the dark near 2 am on the street in to the park!!! i ve grown braver.. good sign :D

well.. i cried after having a call.. and heard some sacarsism from pple... ouch... yea i knoe tat challet nt meant for cryin.. thats why i went to e balcony alone wad! n it was " discovered " that i cried. nt i want to let pple know i cry wad!!!

was waiting stupidly at the balcony waitin for my red to nt be so red.. kept lookin down thinkin if i should jump down nt coz nt vry high... coz walk back into the room kinda pai seh to let thm see my cryin face n spoil their mood..

had alot fun there... playing 7 level pig.. and im the pig.. its vry depressing yet super funny.. love that game.. " shang shen tai " LOL!!!! imagine myslef as the rosted pig biting an apple or a tomato.. being lifted up...

went cycling... book 3 hrs.. but use 1.5... hahah my VJJ dan painful!!!!!! e seats hor!! no wonder e rental so cheap..

went on second trip with girls to e playground... fall down while tryin too hard to swing someone... ouch.. a deep scratch... anyway it kinda feels shiok.. coz now e pain is vry real compare to those undescribable heartpain..

thank you joey for the ice cream :D

went back to challet to wash after ice cream n chatting session.. go to toilet n wanted to wash my leg.. nelson was washin e mop.. he gt shock.. hahahaa.. wad a caring elder brother :D.. thn i use the shower to spray it.. ouch...at night.. there was imflamation .. sian..

played some games.. n it was damn funny... cant stop laughing.. love e sherades " duno how to spell " and i find that chao zhong vry cute.. HAHA!! mayb my idol.. hahahahaha

im so tired to blog...

anyway i sense a change in raazmy.. he is getting more caring and spare more thoughts for the others... quite shock he actuali FAST!

thnks for the food preparation and thnks rahim for the cocktail and omelette :D

overall... its fun :D

Dreaming

2008-09-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

I keep having weird dreams these days...

either super hot guys...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! random

or cafe with super many type of sugary cakes and bakery!!

or Im some fighter trying to protect somebody...

-.-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaha.... HOW I WISH I HAVE A STRAWBERRY CAKE NOW!!!!!!!!!!! MANY MANY STRAWBERRY!!!!!!!!!! CHOCOLCTAE GLACE STRAWBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STRAWBEERY CHEESECAKE!!!! STRAWBERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHHAH SIAO...

DREAMS

2008-07-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!! I M SO DAMN HAPPY!!!!!!! yet abit lost... coz dreams is over... HOWEVER!!! the performance was good!!! I feeel so alive!! sooo damn happy la...

I dress up like an idiot.. soo funny!!! for character!!! n andreas said i missed a few freckles... there isnt brown eyebrow pencil... and i end up having moles instead!!!HAHAHAA took a few irritating pics that i cant stop laughing

SOOO IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AH LEE IS SOOOOOOO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!

Anyway i reali love her alot... she help me alot alot!!! in cleaning up steps.. she will tell me what went wrong and ask me do again and again until i got it right... and she will also do with me... soo touched!!!! at the end of the concert i cannot hugg her tight tight!! hahahaha

MEI QI!!!!!!!!!! she is SOOO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!! hahahaha we almost kiss accidentally at the back stage... sooo funny.. becoz its so dark we cant see!!!! then jus wan to hug.. end up i bite her chin.. LOL!!! hahahahahaha heng she taller... hahahhah LOVE HER TO THE MAX LO... she always make training sooooo fun!!! hahahah - im nt les -

MEI CHIN!! OMG la... at the end of the concert she hug me and hold my face tell me i grown alot... IM SOO HAPPY!! i cried out loud... hahahahahaha!!! i also duno why i cry la.. alo tmix feeling... very happy yet sad its over... hahahaha at the same time vry touch.. and vry tired... so.. yah.. hahah... thnk you mei chin!!

EDNA... she is hot k!! the corset and shorts on her.. walao... i also wan flat tummy!!!

k i shall continue blogging tml... tired

reasons to live

2008-07-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Hmmm been wondering about this...

Now i gt some answers

To fall in love again with someone who will not ditch me when i anyhow say break up...unless i totally give up.. unlike ISSAC WONG!! hahahahahahah!!

To eat all the good food and to go elbuie before i die... hahahah!!

To experience life and learn more things...
* guitar * haven learn yet!!!

To drool at hot guys

To become a sexy hot lady

To be rich in life and physically

To save that 5000 to sponser part of family trip.. coz i know i cant afford all..

To have fun dancing and gt better controls

To sleep and dream of all the impossibles

To live and fufil the impossibles

SO MANY REASONS SIAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just too low to smile

2008-07-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

It had been a terrible day for me...

okies... nth good happen since 2008... i cant rmb any...

hope next few months will be better...

Morning struggle with MC thing... very sian abt it alrdy...

Evening quarel with the key uncle.. FUCK!! why i lose my temper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im so sorry to those who felt that im such a wadeva... I tried not to cry... and apologise but the uncle just refuse to accept n keep guai laning me... I KNOW ITS MY FAULT LA... but he also cannot talk nicely one lo.. when i tried to...

Dont know how till tpde be affected by this... will he find us more trouble nt... also vry scared abt it...

Couldnt remember steps and timing off... stresss like dono wad...

I seriously duno why i so emo...

im going crazy...

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO SORRY PPLE

DREAMS

2008-07-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

OMG!!! I CANT BELIEVE I PARTNER BING BAO FOR ALL MY ITEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOTTA LOSE SOME WEIGHT JUS IN CASE DURING CONCERT HE GOT SO TIRED THAT HE HAS NO STRENGTH TO CARRY ME!!

WELL.. DIDNT DO WELL FOR VETTING BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!

CANNOT STUDY FOR ALOT TESTS BECOZ OF DREAMS.. BUT THEN HECK LA... NOT ENUF TIME... ( YET I STIL CAN ONLINE )

ALOT STUPID EXCUSES... HAHAHAH

K I VRY RANDOM ... BYE

L.O.V.E

2008-07-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

I was enlighten by someone today who said this

woo and wait i hv tons of patient. not an issue. pro is when someone strt to doubt and qns on a r/s means that thelove is build on top of an unstable condition such will lead to bigger problem in future. even if we are going back tgt after someone eventually this will be a big problem.

and now i understand why issac wan to break... and i ask him..

but overall still is character miss match... hahahha

well... i cant force myself to be that gentle little girl...

so... i hv to let go...

no doubt i still miss u.. and u are still the one who BLOCKS me from liking someone else... i have eyecandies.. but they are still jus eyecandies...

BUT.. i will walk out of it soon.. n will NT think of u evrynight before i slp... ANYMORE...

but at least i dont cry for u alrdy... thats a good progress.. :D

OMG!!!

2008-07-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I gotta move on but im so addicted to you...

2008-06-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

Had a dream last night... dreamed that we are back again..I nv felt so happy in my dream and I gt very amazed.. wonder why do i stil feel this way.. its not good.. I should have move on... I should... I should... And this song jus came to me.. though its not one year two months... but when it is... will i still think of u ? and will u stil think of me?? Or will i be with somebody... and be truely happy..

ADDICTED
Since u went away its been one year two months
but it just don't seem like yesterday we were still together
time has passed and things have changed so
why do i feel this way
cause you're with somebody else
and Im with somebody else but

whenever i think about the love we had
it hurts so bad
whenever i think about the love we made
i said that I'd be strong
boy i really thought that i'd move on
but still i find myself asking

do u still think of me like i think about u
do u still dream of me cause i cant sleep without u
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
your love has got me addicted
said i dont know
when im with a hunk and hittin it boy i call your name
said i dont know
when i be with somebody else i push them away
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

its been long enough dont know why im still holding on
if i had a wish babe i would turn back the hands of time
cos u dont know what u got untill its gone
its the reason why im writing u this song
girl im slippin and i dont know what to do
girl i admit it, im sick over u
damn i realised my mistake, my pride got in the way
i should have begged u to stay

do u still think of me like i think about u
do u still dream of me cause i cant sleep without u
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
your love has got me addicted
said i dont know
when im with a hunk and hittin it boy i call your name
said i dont know
when i be with somebody else i push them away
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

do u still think of me like i think about u
do u still dream of me cause i cant sleep without u
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
your love has got me addicted
said i dont know
when im with a hunk and hittin it boy i call your name
said i dont know
when i be with somebody else i push them away
tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
i know i gotta move on but im so addicted to u

DETOX

2008-06-28T07:51:00.001-07:00

When to look for detox recipe... these are what i got... quite interesting..

Chop about 4 tablespoons of parsley and steep in boiling water (covered) for at least 10-15 minutes. Parsley is a fabulous diuretic and is extremely healthy for the body during detoxification! Hope this helps.

Warm water, 2 tbsp. real lemon juice, a pinch of cheyenne pepper, 1 tbsp maple syrup. Cleans the liver & kidneys out.

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/detox/plan.htm

Chocolates, sweets, tea ,coffee and sugar free products are not allow during detoxifying... they cause water retention...

meats are reccommended to be replace with fish... WHICH I WILL NOT DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

milk cheese egg... dairy products should be avoided... OMG!!!!!!!!!

FRUITS ARE UR BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIAN WHY JIAN FEI IS SO XIN KU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING PROJECTS

2008-06-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

FINALLY... I breakdown from projects..

Staying up late doing alot things when it is nt needed becoz of miscommunications and lack of knowledge..

Ytd i was fucking tired bcoz im the onli bartender.. but thankfully i manage to get some help from peeps...

Tried so hard to kep myself awake during french... and after that .. chiong prject... until 11 plus...

Was hacing bad flu... and exhaustion from dance trainings..

i waited infront of the comp... then nobody said anything... so i think its ok to rest... then unknowngly my phone was silent... i slp til mrning... my mom woke me up

Woke up mrning thought can happily go take photos and chill with project mates after all e hardwork... but end up realise its nt complteted partly due to my negligence

was alrdy very upset... then first thing he says... doesnt sounds nice and say till im insignificant...

got very upset and we strt to quarel...

All e while i have been doing projects with him since yr one sem 1... then say alot things..

end up i got so upset that i cried... FIRST TIME FOR PORJECT...

and after all the fire... we manage to cool down.. and he tell me nicely... his point of view..

and then... we decided to meet another day for the photo taking

So meaningful

2008-06-22T09:08:00.001-07:00

I WAN TO JIAN FEI!!!!!!

2008-06-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

I WAN TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!! not tonning!!! but lose weight!!!!!!!! then ton...

actuali i know how to lose weight... just that temptations are so obstructing!!!

I have to stop bubbletea and candy mix!!! till 2010... hopefully!! nono!!! MUST!!!!

chocolates.. i wont ban... coz cannot ban one... alot food have them... HAHAHHA!!! ans they are actuali healthy... not too sweet..

Drink soup or water b4 evrymeal... n dont drink after meals...

eat 70% full then stop liao.... dont expand stomach!!!!

dont skip breakfast... but can jus drink soup or milk for dinner...

stretch and massage for 10mins before bed...

SAVE MONEY!! dont eat soo much... this is wad i wan to strt!!!!!!!!!

Im back

2008-06-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

FUN!!!!!!!!!! not so sian... coz got alot people... and i met someone damn funny i jus wan to smack his face.. SC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GAY!!!!! but he is damn funny... irritatingly funny but u will anticipate whats gonna come out of his mouth next.

Met other new friends as well... Yi ling is a very cute girl.. she likes to laugh.. and is considerate as well... Donaven ( duno how to spell ) find him very cute.. funny person... hahaha.. hop scotch...

dennis very poor thing.. he kips working and didnt reali play n rest for the chalet.. and he looked worried over the number of people coming.. and the sum pple are paying for the chalet... well we wil pay u dennis... silly ...

Had a bad fall at pulau ubin.. but it was super fun at the bike park.. so dangerous yet SHIOK !!!!!!!! MORE THAN A ROLLER COASTER RIDE if u speed... like me.. HAHAHA!! thats why fall lo... coz break suddenly when ziay fall into a hole n Don break infront of me suddenly..

I wasnt going in the first place... but who knows i stayed through out.. LOL!!... with onli 2 sets of clothing for 4 days 3 nights... Eeeeeeeeeeee i felt so dirty that the firs tthing i did at home was to bathe n change to new pair of new clothings

anyway melanin seems to be working.. im turning darker.. coz i didnt bring any lotion.... omg... should i be happy?

and then eating so much and drinking so much sugar drinks at the chalet.. i gain weight!!! plus constipation.. OMG!!!!!!!

went back to training after MIA for 2 days.. thnks to the fall.. OMG so many steps to learn.... i broke down at the last lap... girl hiphop.. i teared...zzzzzzzz hahahaha useless... stupid.. kinda feel like droppin one item.. coz very tiring and straining for my brain n sch work... as i have four..

Stef n Beau said i look like i gain some weight.. and stef says about my double chin judding out...!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! JIAN FEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIii

but how long will it las this time...hmm... hahahaha

anyway i gotaa get my project work starting... AND I STRTED LA.. this year i had been quite guai la hor... been leading my teams... instead of being leaded.. not bad... but i wish they could take more iniative and surprises me mor ewith ideas... and i happy i have jasmine.. because though she is busy.. she will give me smth i wants... thnks for the brochures :D

Shall stop here and do my prject already .. heheee

Fight for a better tomoro :D

I got nothing more to say

2008-06-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

Well... i can say i wasted 9 months over you... hmm... did I ?? well in love yes.. life not... Im still enjoying it... and becoz of u i learn alot.. and it reali mature me alot.. though i dont reali show it...

I got to understand many things better, and appreciates things more.. though im stil careless and lose things easily... LOL!!

Slowly.. Im getting over you... but dont know why evrytime talk to u online... u jus doesnt feel happy to talk to me.. and esp about the times we had tgt.. it could just be 2 good friends talking about their past and laughing at it.. but I think... u thought i will get emo and cry over it... but no... my intention was just to stay connected and have a good chat with u.. and feels happy u are still part of my life.. not as a lover but as a friend... ( as a friend.. ssounds familiar )

jus...someone showed me joanne blog hahaha random... then there are pictures of u and her... during your commission parade...

I didnt believe in people saying u may two time me previously like tgt with me yet thinkin of her... or using me as a test product.. hahaha sounds so funny..
even if u will be tgt with her or anybody... im fine... coz u lead ur life.. i lead mine... i understood this like finally... LOL!!

well.. u invited her.. i understand.. she is ur buddy... and of coz i dont have to know... but i jus feels sad that not once... u invited me even for a dinner... is always smth i ask for and u try to accomodate... its kinda sad for me...

its like before we are tgt we are very good friends... but after the break up.. we are less than good friends... are we stil " friends " i wonder... whats that defination of that...

You may think that im tearing while posting this.. but strangely enuf ... im smiling yet with a little of bitterness.. somehow i felt a change in myself which im glad.. but sad over why is it lidat... perhaps u need time.. more than me... perhaps.. i woundnt know...

well of coz i agree that i deserve someone much better... who wants smth worse than what they had before... HAHAHA!! I will met mine... and u will meet yours... and i think i shouldnt stick to near to ur life for the time being..

I will not miss you so much anymore so that i would nt msg u randomly..and i promise when i talk about u.. i will say it with a smile.

Love is so colourful because it is to be seen from different angles at different brightness of light.

Sex and the city

2008-06-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

THIS SHOW IS AWESOME K!!!!!!!!!!!

I will rate it 4.5/5

nt is perfect so i wont give 5

its reali hillarious and vry touching.

It shows how people handle their relationship, and what type of mistakes people will commit and thus ruin their perhaps
" happily ever after "

Its more like the pride is playing the game when faith was crashed and misunderstandings uncleared.

It will nt be solve by one person... but needs two to understand and let go of that egoism..

Its nothing logical because it love...

Singing!!

2008-06-05T04:07:00.000-07:00

Today vry sian at home... dono wad to do about SSM ... vry stress... but realx.. duno la... hahahahaha... then I DECIDED TO SING!!!!!!!!!

went youtube n find new songs to attempt...

I like this song!!! very got feel.. and not very difficult to sing...

This also vry got feel and not very difficult to sing...

This is very nice!!!! but VERY DIFFICULT TO SING!!!!!!!!!

Sentosa bo zeng hu

2008-06-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

went back to wrk... but evrything is slack tilll sooo scary... i felt out of place... and evrybody change lor

soooo weird la...

k anyway... im tired

If im not your happiness

2008-05-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

feeling emo randomly.....

thinkin about u and e past.. while sharing with a friend...

tears jus flow down though i try so hard to control..

i ask someone...

and he said

if u r nt prt of his happiness.. hope he's happy.. is u cant do that.. i m sure that is nt love.. jus desire n selfishness

i felt vry insulted...

but i think... is it bcoz i bu gan xin??

i also duno alrdy..

i jus felt that im losing u... evn as a friend.. there seems to be a line in between us... its nt natural... mayb i need more time... but all these are excuses...

i need to set my heart freee

i mus believe without me ... u are happier and could find someone who give u more happiness...

OFF DAY

2008-05-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Yea!! today no sch.... wanted to make my IC in the morning but woke up late... and went to do it in the afternoon... didnt know that today is the last chance to practice for SSM... super angry la..... some pple didnt call me lo... neh mind...

gt my IC done... e photo is vry ugly k!!! so pek cek...

thn justin wong randomly sms me... for dinner..

OF COZ HE TREAT LO!! HEHEE :D

wanted to eat at ken house ramen.. dont reali know e names... but gt ken house n ramen... hahahah at orchard plaze... we reach at 550... but they strt at 6.. then STUPID justin...

say he wana eat sushi!!!!!!

thn stil say anything when i ask him wad he wants..

thn we walk to far east lo................

there is this restaurant on the top level... watasabi tei

e shop is damn small..........

therefore e queue is damn long.....

i waited for an hour k!!!!!!!!!!

KANASAI made ur highness stand so long!!!!

of coz he treat liao lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the chef was rather scary... he has an aura that i scared he suddenly bankai... throw sasshimi at me then i no time open my mouth all of it will go to waste... k rubbish..

the service is nt gd la... can see.. e plates like jus drop infront of u can liao... e water splash on u also nvm one.. u cannot take order separately.. e aunty will get angry...

haahaha i wanted a chawamushi after meal.. dun dare to order.. nt i don dare la.. is justin say don wan.. coz later e aunty will scold.....

but the food is good... ambience actuali should be nice... but duno why... evrybody seems to be vry quiet... don dare to talk...

because of the chef aura??? ahahaha

the salmon sushi is so damn worthwhile!!!!! cheap is NICE!!!

ppple go try la!!

WONG JIA XIAN IS SUCH A PEST K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is so damn irritating... i cant stop punchin or slapping his arm... ARGH!!! OLD MAN!!!

funny and irritating...... nt scared i bankai..

almos bankai at taka when he said " duno why issac likes u"

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

was wad in my mind..

bloody shit la... i was quite pek cek with issac alrdy lor... thn he says that... CB!! hahahahaaha

k i abit extreme... actuali its nth la... but then i don like pple to talk about me n issac... alrdy................ yea

he also doesnt seem vry friendly to me...

im tryin to be friendly friend leh.. but he seems to jus treat me as an acquitance

In my own world

2008-05-27T02:08:00.000-07:00

Im very much in my own world today...

went to sch then found out its a conbine SHISEIDO work shop for 09 n 10...

SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahhahaa

and yeah saw him siah... damn funny la... u are getting more lame.. maybe i didnt reali talk to u muc las sem...

this sem more interactions..

but from ur conversation with someone else.. i guess u hv somenbbody in mind alrdy..

but oh well... u're jus an eyecandy..

jasmine ask me this today.. wad if ***** says he likes me too...

me : 100% no way he will.. thn i pause.. nth is absolute in this world leh..
hahahaaha

but end up i also said i don wan a relationship now.. jus wana hv fun... and don wan any heartbreaking thing to affect me...

but im missing u.. hahaha.. but i dont wan and canot like u thats wad i know.. so don wan to bother too much la.. enjoy e way we are now...

one huge fall is enuf recently.. k nt reali recently.. but its stil recovering.. don wan to rip myself aprt again so soon..

having french test on thursday.. gona try my best though i say i will die... but thn.. nth is absolute yea... hehee.. like this sentence too muc la..

* If it doesnt happens on you doesnt mean it will not happen, nothing is absolute in this world *

Keyboard spoil

2008-05-23T07:07:00.001-07:00

ARGh!!!!!!!!! 2 days didnt use comp... irritated... then alot things wan to say also forgot liao la...

anyway... that silly boy... STOP SMOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It onli makes u feels gd for a moment but torture u as e more u consume... ONE BOX IS ALOT...

there are many others way to relief stress which are much shiok shiok shiok one k!!! hahhhaaha sports, dance, singing or the best

clark quay bungee !!! though its vry ex la..

cigarette also expensive lo...

k i think i should stop here..

gt a feeling u wil be vry angry if u read this..

-.-!! * scared *

THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahaha im so happy la... mrning go school saw u!!! on bus stop heehee.. don dare to call u... then stupidly walk infront of u and gei gei look back so u can see me...

and YA!! u did!

and u eh me.. LOL!!!!!!!!!

so cute la u...

my eyecandy :D

so happy u are in sugarloaf and nt toptable hahaha..

though stewarding vry xinku.. i complain alot.. but actuali i complain to make e rest laugh onli la.. to add dramatic effects...

WHY THEY DUNO HOW TO FINISH FOOD!!!!!!!!! SO WASTE!!!!!!!!! make me scrape into e bin... so heart pain la... FOOD LEH!!!!!!! NICE FOOD!!

the sight of u jus wanan make me laugh... dun reali knw u yet.. hope u are nt those guys that are vry disappointing..

lookin forward to evry thursday :D

weird dressing...

2008-05-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

Today woke up late for lesson... end up wear smth weird... some pple stil say cute.. like wad the hell... i felt weird n out of place in sch too... hahahahaha

evrything doesnt reali seems right today... but oh well... thats it la...

lose my appettite big time... but kip stuffing food...

jus like las time...

i think im siao...

brother bullied me lo....

i look at e chair i gt feelin he will pull it away...

but thn i stil sit... end up

ya reali... i landed on e ground... so painful..

i feel like crying out loud...

from all e tears i had surpressed...

but onli teared abit...

too tired to cry alrdy... sick of it...

love is jus a torture.. and i watch a drama show today... reali ... love tortures pple...

though love will give happiness to some pple...

out of 10... how many??

Love is a scary thing

2008-05-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

My world crash again...

I wonder how many times can i crash n stood up again since i very... die also refuse to say die..

yet.. im weak..

thnks for coming to crash me so hard i know it wasnt on purpose..

i bawled for almos 2 hours... again... so much pain...

i think i dont dare to fall in love with anybody again...

its too scary..

SHANGRI LA!!

2008-05-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

Today dress up nice nice... wear make up... make my hair somemore.. which is rare... wear dress n boots... then weather make me perspire like siao!!! so unglam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAH... had a hard time finding shangri la!!!!! perspire like siao n end up... took bus there..n need to walk quite long lo... KNS!!!!!!!!!!

welll i enjoyed myself jus that was quite angry i didnt hv enough space in my stomach to finish evrything they hv...

i didnt eat much ofthe crepe!!! :(!!! and i didnt eat enough meat... and pasta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n e CHOCOLATE MOOSE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaah thnk you ZAWLIN!!!!!!!!!! i will treat u to smth good when its ur bday k... nt as belated as mine!!!
hahahahah

oh well...

i took a look at the vipes results... I WASNT IN FOR OPENING AND LOCKING :(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but then neh mind la.. gt 4 items liao... but no modern! :(

MEI QI is like EVRYWHERE... hahahahaah all those girls can get in one sure gt her.. she is dope! hahhaha sooo ccuteeee ... love her to e max

* im straight *

alot pple kip suspecting im BI or LES.. coz i always get excited seeing some girls who i think is cute dopee shuai or sexy...

its jus a kind of admiration.. im jus being truthful n show my feelins wad... nt reali that kind of like... ARGH!!

anyway im damn scared my part time job wil clash with vibes training
... which i think sure will one lo... so i need to find replcement... :( like how!!

k that time comes then say..

thats all for today :D

going to put on mask liao..

KTV again plus KOnight Again

2008-05-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

KTV was fun... e room damn big... alot pple came... i sang quite alot... n it was vry peaceful before kaiwen came...

after he came... i cannot sing in peace alrdy... THNKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sang some emo song reali felt like cryin....

Didi improved though...

Meiqi is sooo cute lo......!!! hhahhahah

its Kat bday celebration hope she is reali happy :D she is vry cute and blur... her reaction vry funny also... hahahahhaha i tot it was her who snore on e bus but its e person behind her... -.-!!

KO NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some poppers are dope siah! but don reali rmb names la.. onli know alex..

Rahim n Darien are so cool k... i like e way they responded hahahah!! soo cute... alot pattern... dope!

They got in and i was sooo happy i teared!!! exaggerating but true.. felt so happy for rahim!

zaihar n hafiz are.. OMG!... they stuns are dope... e cap!!! and e way they responded oso vry guai lan... i like!

oh ya... danny...eeeeeeee fake monk... walked in with fion siahz... LOL!!

k after that we go eat lo.. i drank one litre of orange juice.. abit mad.. vry full lo...

I guess im alil out of my mind today...

abit siao...

or reali siao...

anyway i suspect e person kaiwen talkin to on e phone happily is....... heheeeheee

who else is nt on e bus except..... hahahhaa

i jus suspect la..

Tears like River Nille

2008-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Dream of you again... woke up and tear till my bolsters n pillow got wet...

Thought i alrdy let go and start to accept new entrance to my life...

end up i guess its jus that i surpress evrything down too hard and i jus explode today...

well.. mayb a few more of these can help me to let go faster...

In the dream.. i dream of me telling pple that u don love me anymore and u don wan me anymore... ouch...

and i can see the image of me being vry sad while u are enjoying laughing with ur group of friends...

well this is selfish as i onli tot of myself suffered... i know u suffered too..

There is jus somthing lacking in my life that is different from when i hav you...

Tryin to figure out waht that is..

another thursday

2008-05-16T00:24:00.000-07:00

SSM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

although its vry tiring but its vry fun... and.... I GET TO SEE HIM EVRY THURSDAY!!! heehee

same group now.. DAMN HIGH... I jus cant stop myself from laughing at him...

GOt into Sugarloaf... though cannot practice for proficiency test vry sad.. but stil ok la..

we got free muffins!!!

Iam aiming at the merigue lo...

TUESDAY FASTER COME!!

My french lecturer is hot and soo damn cute omg!!! faint**

I will put in moe effrot for this :D

heehee

Miraculously... Dad found my phone... its in his car...

I think i got serious hallucination about puting e phone on the fire extinguisher box..

too stress?? hhahhaha

I wan to go shoppingggggggggggg

CRAVING FOR BENS N JERRY!!!!!!!

Today is normal

2008-05-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

Normal day... nothing new... but dress quite smartly for phototaking la... photos didnt turn out as bad as i thought...

razzmy choreo kips ringing in my mind...

I Party like a rockstar
I Look like a movie star
I Play like an all star
I F**k like a pornstar

hahahaha... like it !!

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRIED... I STIL SCORE 26/30 FOR THE GEO TEST... WAH LAO...!!!!! VRY PEK CEK... BUT.. OH WELL...

ps : no matter how bad u are.... somehow it still overwhelm my anger in a few days and i jus miss u again...

Vipes

2008-05-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

very happy at dance today!!! force myself to dance... heehee... tryin to ignore my back... but when razmy choreo came... walo pain like shit i shouted pain... while tryin to do the choreo... i like it vry much!! heehee

actuali i like all choreo... coz all is fun!!!!!!

got abit sad coz i know i wont get into locking... but i was glad i enjoy myself alot...

REGGAE!!!!!!! i think i did nt bad for it... I THINK ONLI la.. hahahaha back pain though...

jean's hiphop is so cute k... jump here jump there.. so fun!!!

nicole's girls hiphop is SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the las part... heehee

modern... LOL!! i do til i laugh... coz i reali think i look so funny tryin so hard to look nice... but i did my best alrdy... oh well...

rahim's first choreo is vry nice.. but i failed to do the drag n didnt put out the essence in audition round...

the man's hiphop is cool la... the first part so cute k... hahahaah!! enjoyed it...

Danny's popping... i think he demo that time he dance off beat leh.. ahhaha thn e timng n beat abit weird.. but i jus do lo... also laugh... coz i did like vry funny..

locking OMG!!! i love it la!! so cute!!! but then.. my technique vry weak... hav to wrk hard..

I was quite shocked that i actuali sat on danny's legs... as in attempted la.. didnt reali put e whole weight down... scared he cannot dance... hahahaha!!

breaking... of coz i wont go out n roll on the floor... but some others did vry well.. hazrul... * duno how to spell * is still dope!!!!!!! wooooooooo!!

Oh well... enjoy tonight :D

why broke up is always so unpleasant..

2008-05-13T10:44:00.001-07:00

thought of u again...

somehow its nt a pleasant one nor a sad one...

rather the tot of u urks me... irritated me quite alot...

ur childishness in my memory is not longer sweet.. but it becomes stupidity...

ur gentleness somehow... feeel so fake now...

but ur irritated eyes seems soo damn real...

hahahaha...

Maybe its a good way... to end evrything... opps... actuali it ended long ago...

i stopped my time for quite long... hahahha

to you.. my behaviour jus seems silly n not a grown up... but u don reali understand... those hurtful words i will not forget though i don wan to rmb... but u.. made me realise that sadness for u worth nth... nth at all...

and i seriously don wan to be happy thinkin of u...

it onli drag things on...

so allow me to hate u for now... which i finally able to bring myself to... after almost 8months...

and after this...

one day...

I will still love you...

as a friend...

thats wad u wana hear from me right...

* as a friend *

haiz.... talking about u nowadays... i also dono am i sayine truth or " kou shi xin fei " goign against my heart...

LOST

2008-05-12T04:28:00.000-07:00

this year is serioulsy not a good year for me....

been injured...

sick...

and keep losing things...

LOST IC n EZLINK..

lost matric card but got it back..

today morning i jus lost my handphone....

wow.... wads next...??

lost my soul??? or my life??

sick of all these alrdy... esp when u are super broke ...

Tired of crying

2008-05-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

I think im tired of crying...

sms him... tio rejected.. didnt cry

talk to him online... him talkin til like couldnt care less or sian sian...

end up tell me he is actuali angry... n strts to show concern but mass lecture...

i didnt cry... normally i think i will flood my keyboard alrdy...

he kip emphasizing " as a fren " ya... see liao gt e sinkin feeling yet i think coz im soo use to it... i don reali feel e wana cry feeling..

OLD TORTOISE WITHOUT HAIR TRYING TO ACT HIgh TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$

2008-05-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

IM SO DAMN BROKE OK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jus bought a pair of heels tot can use for BUSE end up... CANOOT and i have to buy a new pair... waste my money..

DON LIKE MY HAIR TODAY... damn bad...

Fall aslp in lecture again!!! when can i stop that!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

Im so busy today la... mrning... wake up take skirt n blazer to alter... buy sockings... then buy pancake for breakfast... forget wallet.. so go home n go bac to e places again... end up late for lecture n didnt go..

spend time making up and do my hair!! wah faster grow longer PLS...

i kip eating choco... n my fats is like piling up !! hahahaha

for dinner i didnt spend any money... i ate wad my mom bought for herself hahah! share la.. then met up don ziya n esther... they were eating ajisan except don.. coz he wans his CHEESE PASTA... i stare.. n eat abit LOL!...

thn i saw this dress... DAMN NICE... i love it... 69 dollars... :( bo lui....

hahhaa

i smsed issac ask him wan to watch movie nt... he thick skinly replied
are u askin me out on a date???

i entertain him
ya la... don make me shy..

tot he will agreee

end up

i think my friend ask me to watch that alrdy... sorry.. mayb nx time..

ok lor... though i wan to scold wad ths fuck now...

but i DON WAN... coz im so used to it...

he's jus a bloody fucker anyway...

thnks to all these irritation he gav me... makes me able to treat him more like a friend...

though i still canot let u go or wipe u out of my life completely...

i don think i wana do that... coz i think stil can be friends... so i wil jus let u go slowly...

TIRED

2008-05-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

SSM was damn fun but tiring today... almos doze off SOoooo many times tat i was spotted many times as well and MR zainal laugh at my hilarous behavior tryin to keep myself awake...

didnt hit my expectation of under 10 secs for wine opening.. and did 15secs.. well some pple says i cheated but i know i didnt coz for e las time i know wheres e mistake n did it properly.. n got 15secs..

Was vry hungry.. but whenever i eat i feel like vomitting... it sux bt i stil stuff e food inside...

went to e police post n the policemen told me no need to report for lost IC ... walaoz... haahahaha waste effort
oh well

My eye candy is so cute okay!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!! hahaaha was glad to be in same SSM with him but always gt separated..

anyway felt kinda weird that someone make me wana stick closer to him... but then... who cares..

still miss issac la... KNS... its super hard to overwhelm e feelings coz his preseence is tooooo overwhelmin

I hope my hair doesnt spoil too much becox of SSM n BUSE...

not feeling well

2008-05-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

not feeling vry well today.. stomach bloated n LS whole day...

wore quite loudly to sch today.. coz was feelign great.. however thnks to someone spoil my day at e end of e day... i saw her n go say hi..

she " u gt trg today ? "

me " no "
she " wah no trg why wear until lidat as if u gt trg... now adays dancers damn act lor... reali lor... i see e dancers vry act "

me " where got "

she " anyway u all kick out alot juniors "

me " the intake vry little this time so that onli good pple can get in la.. to make e club better mah"

she rolled her eyes and said smth nasty i cant rmb and continue
" do u know that some of the juniors are even better than e seniors ? "

she " las time u all also cannot dance one wad "

FUCK LOR... i was damn irritated n i pretend to be ok with u la... fuck la... las time u like dat .. one yr later still lidat... u decided to left e club one lo... so don come n critise wad e club is doing n decided okay!!!

u also nv see us dance so long... how much we improve... u know meh!!! i bet most of us are better than u alrdy!!!!!

I used to talk good things for u when ppple bad mouth u... but today i jus cannot tahan alrdy...

coz i get more involve in e club n i like e more n more.. i cnnot take it when u so called insulted it ok!!!!

k nvm...

Was super high in school today talkign about the entreprenuers ideas... i gt tons of it la...

1) adjustable heels
2) condom vending machines with red bull
3) bites size pizze crust stuff with cheese
4) flavoured thick fries
5) taiwan food such as sausage n ba wan
6) vending machines for soft ice cream jus like Mac's

okies end of sch...
printing SSM notes onli cost me 6 dollars n hvn print finish somemore... GOD!! ahahahaha almos gt bang by merc... coz was cycling with one hand onli.. e other hugging e DOUBLE QUALITY PAPER...

STUPID BLISSY STROKE MY CHIN... MY GREAT NONO!!!!!!!!!!! its a taboo okay.. will get wack by me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also jump out on e road coz she stroke me in e middle of crossing e traffic light... THNKS!!!!!!!!!!!

CONCLUSION TODAY

I LOVE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUBWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D but famous amous still best

today is today

2008-05-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

well... was vry shock for blissy to tell me she broke up with e guy alrdy whe nshe jus told me they gt tgt one week ago... -.-!!

bloody fucker make my sister sad... i hav to sayang her all e way k... hahhhhaha jk jk

I BOUGHT WRONG SKIRT LA.. stil argue with mom on e phone n say i don bluff her coz she vry blur... when she alrdy told me my blazer is black i insist on dark blue... n now i wonder.. if i don believe her.. why on earth i call her lo!!!!!!!! GONG LEH... then now buy wrong!!! ARGH...

and then... gossip with some t10 peeps.. hahaha so bad... but i find them fun :D hahhaa reuben is super bimbotic.. reminds me of ROYSTON... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
n his bday is onli one day after me... heng i came out first :D...

Saw martin in sch n he looked so much happier im damn happy heeheee... hope huijing can reali treasure e relationship and love my dog real well... n hope my dog don bully her!!! though im nt vry close to her la... hahahaha

talked to bliss about issac.. n strt to miss all e times we had n how we play n disturb each other.. so sweet la k... cannot forget soo many things... and esp when u open ur arms and ask me to go over.. SO CUTE!!!!!!! SO SWEET!!!!!!!! hahahaaha LOVE U SO MUCH LA!! though its all memories... ya i love e memories... n that u... 8 months ago...

SUPER SAD cannt go dance today coz my back haven recover...ARGH!!!!!!!!!

ok on msn..

argue with ryan.. that stupid idiotic childish overgrown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he says he is totally cool.. n i replied " yea totally not hot "

he like don get it can... DUMB................

anyway didnt see guoquan online... cannot tok cok with him.. he is a great entertainment at times.. onli when he is not insensitive

matthew was being rther random la... abit question mark towards e thing he says.. but well... nvm... don wan to think so much also..

and guixiong said ytd incident didnt crash his feelings siah... was surprise it actuali could go that far...

argue with bliss like real sisters la... damn funny... count evry cents out of evrything with eac other... $.$... hehehee i jus love her n don wan anyone to hurt her lo... so heartache see her lidat... ARGH!!!!

danny is being * funny? * k i duno wad word to describe him... but yea...
so much of lolipop!!

i duno wad to post today la.. being vry random.. walao.. my bicycle pray that it will be e same when i see it tml... PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ramen Ramen

2008-05-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

I wan authentic nice ramen jus like wad naruto loves to eat.. but then how come evrytime i tot i found one nice shop sure gt pple tell me its nt nice.... sooo sad la....

WARAKU

is so far e best that i have eaten....

wanted to eat e one at clarkquay... but my gor say waraku better... hm...

anyway vry happy... going to buy my formal tml... hopr gt my size n design.. .PRAY!!!

then i can save alot money... PLS PLS PLS PLS!!!!!!!!! thn gt money to dance liao!! hahahahahaha k lame...

need to wake up at 7 to go make IC tml.. think im jus going to collapse lo... SO EARLY LA~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WALAO

2008-05-04T10:25:00.001-07:00

im soo damn touch by their spirits... and e feel... and their technique... gonna work hard in modern!!!

had some fun today as well

2008-05-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

woke up at 12... but duno why end up waking up at 2~!!!!!

and i have to delay my meeting time with darling MIC!!!!!!!!!!!

n i was late somemore!!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!! hahhah had diarrheo in e afternoon n took a long time in bathe rooom... hahahha

GOR said i look pretty today... quite shock to be complimented by HIM!

i gave MIC a bigggggggggggg hug when isaw her AH!!!!!!!! love to hug her... so comfy.. heehee.. then we went to eat... SHE PASS ME E XIONG XIONG BING GAN!!!! THNKS BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!! wad i have been loookin for to cheer MARTIN up heehee

then... went to look for e all impt formal wear... end up nv buy... coz tooo exp!!! waiting for sales.. n im gonna tell tutor that they don have e stock for e skirt n will onli come nx month... hahahahaha!! GSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

end up i spend 60 dollars on other clothings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! walao... hahahaha bought a dress i reali like... gona wear tml... n a jacket ... n a tshirt... heehee...

she warn me for meeting gui xiong.. hahah sooo funny...

wasnt feeling anything on e way to meet him...

but when i reached tamp.. i was rather nervous... but after say hi.. ok liao la.. jus abit weird lo... he is super blur la... I DON LIKE HIS HAIR LA... so LONG N MESSY!!... hahahah cover his eyes.. walaoo...

then he is too skinny k... hahahahaha
dark circle quite serious as well...

then he treat me to IRON man... nt bad ... hahahah e show is dope... how i wish i can fly in that suit... hahaha

then he tryin smth funny in e cinema la... i think he should pray n thnk god coz i didnt bash him up... LOL!!!!!!

then he send me home lo.... on e way home... i gt sad becos of e sms... thats all.. and im at home now... crappin with pple online... hahahaha ate an ice cream cone i felt soooo happY!!

I failed terribly today...

2008-05-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

msg him in e afternoon... coz i finally have e i let go alrdy e feeling.... so msg him to disturb him as a friend...

he didnt reply... whole day...

n i wonder...

at night... i jus msged his brother... and knew that he fall sick...

suddenly I felt so messed up... coz i had a bad feeling... coz evrytime he was sick... he will still have energy for many thigns... how come this time he fall asleep so early..

He even sees a doc!... thinks he is reali tired from training and needed rest...

i wanted to go see him sooo much.... but his brother suggest that i don appear... coz he doesnt wans to get involve...

my heart crash... terribly...

i felt as though i have no legs while walking home from tm...

it seemed that i shrank... n floatin one air... or rather i felt too heavy that i couldnt feel my legs...

soo tired to cry.... completely crashed...

" why !!! why it became like this.. i couldnt even visit u when u are sick... i couldnt even msg u to ask if u are well... i couldnt call u to hear ur voice to assure me u are nt feeling terrible... i couldnt stop myself from having heartache... i couldnt stop e tears to flow while listening to a chi song " yang chong " walao....i couldnt i couldnt i couldnt SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

yah some of u may think.. even i also thought... jus sick onli wad... why reaction so big.... I ALSO DUNO...

think its bcoz i couldnt be concern abt him.. ssort of like... im even less than a friend... so much pain la... but i will still smile my way thru after i finish crying...

its been a long time since i cry till i make noises... hahahaha
it feels so much better la.. and thnks stef n beau to respond online.. so i don feel so alone

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

this song reali made me cry..

actuali i have no reasson to cry... since ... Im out of ur life.. and u are out of mine... its past tense...

PARTY WORLD

2008-05-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

WHO SAYS PPLE WHO DANCE DON REALI SING WELL...

WELL... we DANCE n we SING ok...

Finally i get to enjoy e holiday feeling... been super busy this holiday.. coz of dance n wrk...

well though sch strts alrdy.. but its always a 2 weeks extra break for me.. well..
* BLINK EYES * hahahah right serene... hahahah

its fun... kaiwen is damn funny... he sing ah.. walaoo. e tune anyhow fly.. but thn he sings " wo nan guo " is nice... can go bluff girls liao..

royston is super funny... he act like didi teach lidat.. kip sayin his singing... LOL!!!! DIDI voice is unique if train harder on control n pitching.. will be vry nice..

Andreas sounds better in eng or chi songs.. actuali both are gd.. depends on wad song onli... i onli know he sing last night is super funny coz of his expression n e accent...

IRIS SANG!! she sounded so sweet la k.. nt like me... walao... sianz... she is soo damn cute la... gong gong one... but actuali nt gong at all k! hahahahaa she gt vry gd dressing sense... of coz la.. she study... !@#$%^& course de lo... in design sch...

I tot JJ was wearind red.. but end up its PINK.. thnks to e light.. hahahaaha
didint reali hear him sing.. mayb coz i sang too loudly hahahaha... but i hlp him push up his songs..

N I DONT ONLI PUSH UP MY SONGS LA!!!! I HELPIN TO RESHUFFLE ONLI!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n I DON SIMG WITH MY MIC SO FAR!! SO KUA ZHANG....

* BLINK EYES *

These are pictures of them

kaiwen is blurred...

hmmmmm

ahhh....

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heehee

ME

Welfare head!!

BIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SCANDALOUS

see wad poppin can do..

2008-04-29T11:05:00.001-07:00

HAPPY AND FUNNY

Watch from 445 onwards............. SO TOUCHING

Random

2008-04-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

well i jus know how to put video on youtube and decided to put my super unglam birthday video..

Ya la... its damn funny.. im like siao char bor can... this is wad my lovely class did to me... hehee

Audition day

2008-04-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

Didnt feel to welll e whole day... no appetite but force myself to eat... end up eating alot.. siao one... okay...

and back to eating.... before we reach osch..

actuali went to that place i nv wan to go again... bcoz it jus made me think of u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!

and then... nvm la.. tpde made me laugh... so yea...

stupid kaiwen!!! i say joey ( fbodz ) dam shuai.. he start to link to me being nt straight... then sudenly say danny also vry pretty wad... I LAUGH LIKE SIAO!!!!!!!!!

and then out of no where... they suddenly match me and royston... HAHAHAHA!!! so random... so funny k!... he is like my happypill la... always make me laugh like duno wad... coz he vry nonsense.. but then... not that kind of relationship la... Im nt pinno-kio... or ang mo kio la..

and there is this bell damn low.. that audrey pointed out.. n i jus suan joey that its meant for her... hahahahahaa LOL!! then she strt suanning me with klock liao... duno why she kips thinkin i like him... oh well... don care... coz i know she playin one..

finally finish my choreo at osch.... and then onli dance once to e music... so im extra panick....

went up and dance... FORGOT my choreo.. vryy disappointed with myself lo.. but i told myself don giv up... jus groove... n think of smth.. tats wad i did la... though its bad... but welll its over...

i reali feel like crying so badly... but i told myself nt to... and when GIN said i improve I WAN TO CRY!!!!!!!!!! its like... WAH U FINALLY SAW ME!!!!!!!! U SAW MY EFFORTS!!! ... hahahaha

tears came out but didnt let them roll down... and yea its a mix of emotions...

BUT ... i wont give up on dance... I reali found happiness and alot of feelings when i dance... love it sooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though im nt good now.. doesnt mean i will at this level forever... i will work hard ok!

I seriously like rahim style... soooooo.. how to say... EXPRESSION-LY... k no such word... neh mind.. jus vry gd feel lo...

JUNWEI touched me!!! that music n his moves... somehow duno why jus touch me... hahahaha
so dope la....

BaDD n MAy surprises me...

SERENE improve alot!!! so coolll...

and Beau gt this statement from some of them " she reali is wo hu chang long...
and stef said it as " wo hu chang DAO! " we LOL!! hahahha... she's sharp.. n i didnt reali notice she off beat alot.. coz e song alot beats... i think my ears need help...

Tim said my hearing is vry weird.. hahahahaa coz i always don hear my phone when its super loud...

Razmy got some cool moves there... hahahaah nice!

WEI QIANG IS DOPE LA... he stil can play !!!! sooo cute i laugh till siao...

and then... heehee i finally know who ah foong likes... giggles... so cute...

and its like 12 plus then we left osch!!!!!!!!! waliewwwwwwwwwwww

CAB $.$

after i alighted my heart sank... n i msg danny... was super happy he actuali said its good.. well.. thnks D!!

Wanted to cry.. but then i tot to myself.. if lidat.. i will cry alot times de lorh... coz i wil face alot of this kind of stuff in future n to prevent such things... i should wrk harder n nt cry la..

when my back recover.. i will go back to reggae!!!

and now i train hands lor.... hahahahaha

YOSHIE IS DOPE

and i feel vry sad coz i think i hurt kaiwen... im so sorry but i duno wad to say.. and he also like don wan to talk to me when i ask him...
:'( !!!!!

IM SRRY KAIWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

choreographin

2008-04-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

OMG............. tomoro is the day for audition and then i change alot thigns lo... n then i haven reali dance to e music... n i think im reali going to mess up and end up freestyle....... anyway.. who cares.... Im jus going to enjoy my music... hahahha

fall sick .... almos vomitted on e way home...

k anyway today... quite dramatic la... so called quarel with danny on sms... about some lame shit... lunch treat... talk to him reali mus have good patience and good character... or not will explode... Im good... so yea.. still surviving...

and then i randomly went to beautrice house at BISHAN!!!!!!!!!!! so dam far la...
to choreo.... and yar....

on e bus.. i talk to bear bear... talk till PHONE NO BATT!!!!!!!!!!!!

n i panick coz i duno where beautrice live.. onli know its bishan... but i still kip calm... coz i gt bring charger!!! hahahaahah and anything ... jus go home lo... hahahahahaha

then e stupid info AUNTY don allow me to use their socket because
" sorry miss its not in our policy "

she cannot jus talk cock entertain me about e junction 8 for 5mins while i get enuf batt to contact beau meh!!!

then buay ta han

i go MAC... coz gt socket.. i retardedly walk around MAC lookin at walls... and alot pple lookin at me lo... walao... k don care... then i onli spot on socket.. which is nex to e counter la... then i go there... wan to pluck in... e person " hi.. welcome to mac can i help u... "

I straight away... " can i have a student meal... fillet o fish please... "

FORCE ME TO EAT MAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then i stand there n eat e fries.. until im able to on e phone.. i called beau.. heng she also in JUNCTION 8!!! she came to save me... love u!!!

then we went down to get her food... i shun bian bought one shilin chicken...

hahahha haven reach her house... i fnish almos evrything except the burger na few fries... hahaha

feel sick eating alot junk... then end up got worse...

she showed me some videos... n i was surprise koda kumi could dance well... hahahaha

and then... went to her voiddeck to choreo... n i STONE when i saw ah lee friend... e guy from osch... hahhaha then i dont dare dance... until he walk away... hahhahaha

then after that go beau house play with mascara.. coz my eyelashes cannot stay curling up.. she gave me fasio one... nt bad.. can stay... n she said its impossible to clean it away without their fasio makeup remover.. n i left it at her house... neh mind... see wad i can do later...

Im nt feelin well.. n im super hungry... dats all............

Its Weird

2008-04-26T12:38:00.001-07:00

Its super weird okay...

i thought of issac n suepr emo... then i saw this person's picture... i suddenly stop e emo feel.. n smile siah...

eeeeeeeeeeeee...

hahahha why gt such thing de!!!!

He gave me alot reasons to smile... to perservere and to be strong... thnks..

ya i know some of u know who Im sayin la...

* the unreachable star *

he is so damn cute la k... talk to him... that kind of angry is nt reali furious angry but is those dno wad to do with him that kind of angry...

n e way he talk... walao... cannot take it.. win liao lo... full of rubbish!!!!

but then i dont think i like him... seriously.. and i don wan to.. :D

jus that i realise he is a vry impt person to me... just like some impt friends i have..

thnks for giving me so much laughters n smiles...

n i wont like u! don worry.. so dat all these will nt turn to tears n sadness..

I will be HAPPYLIN

...

2008-04-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

Walao... duno why... i suddenly saw issac online... his nickname was " i seem to lost my soul "

my heart sank...

I began to worried n i feel sad...

I dont wan to talk to him anymore... a least till i got over him...

I don wan to do anything alrdy.... i told myself..

but then end up... I still cannot tahan... go SMS him and ask if he is okay...

then i was editing this blog...

I came across to serene's blog...

and then...

THAT SONG!!!!!!!!! omg...

reali say my feeelings like TOTALLY.. I sang alot... n i cried... STUPID right... ya I know..

Until I Get Over You -
Christina Milian
Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]
The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,'til I get over you

Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

[Bridge]
When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

Its painful and not easy i know...

but i will carry that few sentences from you and move on...

" Just continue trying... i know its hard "

that wad u replied when i told u I couldnt forget u...

my wishful thinking

2008-04-25T04:38:00.000-07:00

Today my back ache like siao la... i think cause i gei kiang go carry 3 tank of mineral water on e oval tray.... anyway its nt fill to e brim... its vry heavy still... n walk whole day at expo n tcc... back cannot take it.. but duno why today mrnin then so painful...

miss lectures... so i stay at home thinkin of choreo as usual...

talk crap on phone with bear bear... hahhahaa nickname i gave him... guess he dont know abt it...

after that i wanted to go sch to practice my choreo..

father don allow... coz of my backache n i skip lecture... n can actuali go for dance..

don wan to argue.. i jus guai guai lo

went online... and a stupid idiot made me cry... by sayin he doesnt care about my promise...

n i tot...

this promise has been driving me on... makin me do my best in trainings and performance...

so many times i wan to giv up on choreo... but mostly bcoz of e promise.. i didnt giv up...

n i tot ... i believe n trust him.. having alot faith in him.. supprting him..

end up... in return " i don care about ur promise!!! "

i understand he is concern bout my back n askin me to don dance to get well... but how can he say that sentence!!!!!!

sooo ouch... tears jus flow out of my eyes immediately... n i cry like an idiot... jus bcoz i feel so damn hurt....

he still can tell me stuff like don eat KFC...

n i quite angry with myself coz i duno i wan to get upset with him or nt... i jus feel damn hurt la... '

but then e thigns he say.. walao.. still so cute lo... i duno wan to get angry or laugh...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.T

TCC performance

2008-04-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

heehee its was vry fun.... but we reach kinda too early lo... then break early too.... k lock n danny was there too... didnt expect they will come early to practice... hehee

danny super no link... ask him why come so early he smile n then frown" i stomache " ... k... if he ans my qns directly.. he is nt danny liao...

then its super funny in the room lo.. coz e poopers did vry funny thigns .... popping with sweet dreams... LOL!!

on stage... e feelin vry high... sam is sooo sexy la... her nike sports bra... hahahaha.... betty boob!!... then her choreo also vry dope...!! i want to dance reggae too!!!!

danny n klock look like couple!!!!!!!!!!!!! reali... they trust n support they have for eac other jus shine out as they dance lo... telephatic too.. its seems like they understand each other vry well... ok i crap la.. they partner so long liao... hahahah so many performances too...

danny vry funny,... he was eating lolipop.. n gt choke as he perform on stage!! hahahah tan chi...

i think andreas is the onewho shouted first... then i gt so damn high i kip shouting too
n energy jus burst out lo... hahahaha i was vry happy coz they gt praise me on my expression... finally gt abit regconise got my efforts.. heehee but still techniques wise... i have alots to work on.. will work hard OK!

i jus hope one day... rahim will jus " guys... u are reali good!!! great job!!" i wil be soo happy!